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To Cardiff today, always one of my favourite cities to play and one with a long association with my work. Our first proper fans were based here and so is gofasterstripe.com and Chris Evans (not that one). I was at St David’s Hall for the first time in 3 years. I’ve played this venue on and off over the last decade, usually in the sizeable bar space, but last time I was here
in 2012 I was bumped up to the proper venue.Unlike playing the big room at the Wolves Civic, one day playing to a packed out St David’s Hall for my own show feels like a difficult, but achievable dream. But this year my ambitions were dented. I was back in the bar. Still playing to over 300 people (which is a great result), but presumably I had more than 400 last time I was here. On the plus side I am guessing that that is more people than saw me at the Glee in Cardiff last year. And on the double plus side, 300 people paying to see me in one night is a massive boost to the tour.
Maybe the day will come when I play the big room again. Maybe the day will come when I play it and it’s full. But the bar, terrible sight lines apart is still a lot of fun.
I had looked after Phoebe all night, but she slept through like a champion, but woke at 6am, which meant I did too. Which made this a long day. The weariness is proving expensive. Today I couldn’t find the new mic I bought to record my shows. Hopefully I just mislaid it. Otherwise it’s really like the comedy gods are picking off my most expensive items on tour. And they are enjoying having a laugh with me. As I stuffed the recycling bin just before I left for Wales, the sliders that allow the bin to slide broke with the exertion and the whole bin came down on my foot. It hurt, but nothing was broken, proving the comedy gods were responsible - broken foot, not amusing, hurt foot = hilarity.
We were going to meet up with Chris Evans, not that one, before the show to exchange some merchandise and have a cup of tea and some Welsh seaweed based cake. It also meant we could record the bumpers for this week’s retro RHLSTP video (with Russell Brand). Check it out here -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz3jZksuu0s. You can see his hamster. Next week’s bumpers will feature the child prodigy Ben Evans who came up with the question that opened Stephen Fry up like a tin of sardines.
The man who helped us to unload the car at St David’s Hall was huge, but it wasn’t until he single-handedly brought in nearly all the boxes of programme, books and DVDs that I realised how massive he was. He was about twice as big as me in every direction (and I mean every direction). Even as a man who considers himself to be 88% heterosexual, I felt a bit weak at the knees watching this man mountain carrying a load that would have taken Luca and me about four trips eat to get into the venue. I remarked at his impressive physique and he said, “Well, I am also a fireman.” Imagine how safe you’d be in those big arms.
There’s a lot to be said for short, stocky men with tiny hands like a little girl’s (though admittedly it’s mainly me doing all the saying on their behalf), but for a moment I understood why so many women seem to prefer huge, muscly firemen to weak, Hermione-handed comedians. We were so different as to be practically different species.
I had a lot of fun with the crowd in the packed bar, hopefully they will all come back next year and bring a friend, even though I threatened to make the entire second half (and the next show) observational comedy based on Addams Family Pinball.
The long journey home was made longer by part of the M4 being closed and my new sat nav taking us on a terrifying tour of narrow roads and muddy tracks in the backwaters of Chippenham. Somehow we survived without being abducted or burned in a wicker man.
