I noticed today on a newspaper sellers kiosk that The Edinburgh Evening News is promoting itself with the strap-line, “Tomorrow’s news – Today!” I don’t see how they can possibly live up to that boast. If they can then the probable 30 pence price for this amazing newspaper is more than good value. Not least because you can just take this magical journal down to your local betting shop and place bets on the winners of all horse races and football matches and make billions of pounds a day. Also you can check where any disasters are going to happen and make sure you keep away from those places for the next 24 hours. Though it might be frightening if you read your own obituary in the future telling paper and realise you have very little time left. But at least this would give you time to say goodbye.
I find it unlikely that the Evening News is actually capable of delivering tomorrowÂ’s news, today and wonder how they can get away with such a blatant lie. At best given it is an evening paper it can give you todayÂ’s news today, and will doubtless include some of yesterdayÂ’s news today, but tomorrowÂ’s news today?
I suppose they are saying that they are giving you the stuff that will be in tomorrowÂ’s other papers (so in a way tomorrowÂ’s news) today, but that isnÂ’t true. As tomorrowÂ’s papers will just be giving you todayÂ’s news. Also they will be giving you different news than the Evening News, ie stuff that happened today in the evening. So the Evening News can not claim to be a version of tomorrowÂ’s papers as it will miss out on several developments as well as complete stories that tomorrowÂ’s papers will cover.
How many people are they conning into buying a paper that they think is written by a necromancer that can see what is to come? Well they would have sold one more today, if there had been anyone selling them at the kiosk. But ironically there is no Evening News on a Sunday. And so they donÂ’t even have todayÂ’s news today. Making the advert doubly wrong. I think I will sue the Evening News for their blatantly inaccurate advertising. God knows what their journalism must be like if they make such terrible errors on their billboards.
