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I haven’t shaved all Fringe, much to my wife’s annoyance as she likes me clean shaved so she can kiss my hairless mouth. I am 99% certain that she will leave me for a woman. And as long as there is an interim period where I am allowed to watch I have no issue with this.
I also get annoyed with the hair around my mouth, specifically that little bit that grows under the lower lip and today I wondered if I could take that off with the wet razor I brought up with me. I have no clippers so I had assumed it was pointless to try and shave my thick and luxurious beard (actually quite spiky and pubic-hair-like - maybe Catie is on to something). The little bit came off easily and made me stupidly think that I could shave off my whole beard with my razor. It turned out I could, but it took about 20 minutes and I had to try and dislodge the clumps of hair that coagulated in the blade and got through a couple of blades. It had been super difficult, but I was finally left with just my moustache, always the most irksome and painful bit to shave at the best of times. And so I decided to leave the moustache on my face. It’s the second most controversial shaving choice I have ever made.
My wife was cross. I had shaved and left the only bit that she really disapproved of. Also we were about to go out and meet friends and I looked like a German backpacker or a plumber from a porn film. I was keen to keep the moustache though, as I hadn’t got anything for my opening monologue of the podcast and I thought I could make something out of this.
But it did mean I spent the day walking around with a stupid moustache and had to explain to everyone that I was just doing it as a kind of joke. Some people seemed to like it, but they may have just been being polite. Or taking the piss. Two sides of the same coin.
The audience seemed to like it though. And a few people got a (hopefully once in a lifetime) selfie with me afterwards. You can see it in the photo for
today’s podcast.
At last two white, male and probably mainly heterosexual guests on RHLSTP today. Political correctness gone mad had made us the minority. Somehow I managed to sneak this line-up through without the feminazis protesting outside. Though the real Nazis weren’t that happy either. It’s like you can’t please anyone these days.
Anyway it was a good one with Thom Tuck and Tom Rosenthal. I need to sell forty more tickets to hit my 200 average. It’s going to be touch and go.
I trimmed the moustache down with some nail scissors before bed and planned to shave it off in the morning. I had thought about going out of this Fringe with one last toothbrush moustache. But the world has changed. And maybe I am better off without the Nazis.
