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We were round to my in-laws today for a bank holiday lunch. I thought I would try and impress them and try and make them see that I was worthy of marrying their daughter (better late than never) by wearing a suit and tie.
To be fair I was mainly excited that I can now (just about) fit into the suits I bought in 2015 again, but I am keen to smarten myself up a bit in general. It may be a bit late in life and also I am almost certainly on a hiding to nothing, but wearing nice clothes and being a bit fitter has really been boosting my confidence and self-worth and I wondered how I’d feel being smart all day.
Disappointingly I realised, putting on the grey suit that I haven’t worn for four years (and which I didn’t wear all that much back then) that moths had also got to this one in storage. It wasn’t quite as devastating as the damage to my favourite suit, as the darker material hid the holes a little bit (and there are only a few small ones) but it’s probably beyond proper repair. One of those three old suits remains unaffected (at least as far as I have noticed) and I do have some new suits on the way, but it was annoying.
I certainly confused everyone in my family with my new smart demeanour (which frankly I find offensive) and it felt a bit much for a relaxed Sunday afternoon, but to be fair, the suit was moth eaten so they shouldn’t have been that impressed.
I took the dog for a walk and that felt the most incongruous thing to do whilst dressed for work. But I kept to the road so I didn’t get muddy and why not dress up to show off your pet.
They say you should be suspicious if your partner suddenly buys new clothes and starts to take care over their appearance. But I’d like to assure my wife that this is not the case this time. This is all for her.
Well not quite - it’s actually mostly for myself, but she’s the only one who will reap the considerable benefits of me looking slightly less disgusting. The rest of you can look, but you can’t touch. Drink it in. Take a little mental picture for the wank bank later. But you all had your chance and you blew it.
Anyway, most people get out of their suits for bank holiday, but I was in one and I liked it. I doubt it will be my daily attire or that I will become a full time businessman in his suit and tie. Though I have some how become a businessman I suppose. Even if my business is making crude podcasts and swearing at rooms (half) full of strangers.
It’s maybe time to start acting my continental shoe size (42). And for that shoe not to be a trainer.
