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Another disturbed night with Ernie and I was so tired today that when I came to write my blog I forgot all the amazing incidents that happened to me on Monday. Which was lucky as not much happened to me today beyond wishing that I was dead so this nightmare of tiredness would be over.
So here’s a catch up on Monday’s exciting events that slipped my mind today -
I don’t like to use the word hero about myself, and it seems everyone is respecting my modesty by not using it either, but we all know I am a hero. And the fact that we know it is enough for me. There’s no need for me to shout it from the rooftops or even mention it.
On Sunday my father-in-law came to see his grandkids and walk the dog for us. When it came time for him to leave he said goodbye, but seemed to be hanging around for some reason. His wife was away for the weekend and when I saw him still rooting around in the kitchen I wondered if he had failed to feed himself and was trying to find food, but it turned out that he’d lost his car and house keys. They were nowhere to be seen in the house so I suggested it was possible he had dropped them on the dog walk. He went out to retrace his steps, but as it was now night-time it seemed unlikely that he’d find a small set of keys in a huge field. Indeed he came back empty-handed apart from the torch that I had lent him. So I had to drive him home to get his spare car key and then back so he could take away his car. I promised him that I’d go up to the field first thing to do the dog walk and find his keys.
But as I set out on Monday morning I was less hopeful. It was after 8 and surely some dog walkers had been on the field by now. They might have found the keys and taken them to some lost property office in the village that I was unaware of. Or kept them in the hope of finding the house and car they belonged to and keeping them for themselves.
I walked through the muddy field, wishing I had a metal detector. Partly so I might find the keys. but also because I hoped I might find some treasure, like in the Detectorists. I wondered how much the Detectorists had affected the sales of metal detectors. Sure, the people in the show are nerds, but that’s what makes them cool. I want to be like them.
Just as I was thinking it was impossible that I was going to find these keys, I looked down and beneath a bit of grass I saw them. I had done it. I had found the keys (or at least someone’s keys - they might have been from Anglo-Saxon times) and deprived some future detectorist of an interesting discovery. Plus I was now officially a hero and my father-in-law was beholden to me forever. Though he didn’t really seem that beholden when he came round for tea and cake today.
But even heroes can be brought down to earth. My wife drove me to the station to get my train in for the podcast. I had plugged my dying phone into the car charger. But when I got out of the car I forgot to pick it up and she drove away. I only realised when I went to get a ticket for the train and it was something of an issue as I have wallet like cover for my phone which also has my bank cards in it. I was stuck. I couldn’t buy a ticket for the train (I had some cash, but the booth was shut and the machines only took plastic) and I couldn’t ring my wife to get her to turn round (because I didn’t have a phone and I have no idea what her number is, because it’s the 21st Century and who knows anyone’s phone numbers?). I wasn’t quite sure what to do.
I realised that my wife’s phone number would be in my computer contacts, but I hit the snag of there being no pay phones at the station that I could see. Would I have to get a taxi home to pick up the phone? What if I was late for work (luckily I had set off very early).
But as I looked round the carpark for a payphone I saw my wife pulling in. She had amazingly spotted my phone just after she drove away and returned to give it to me. She looked like she thought she was a proper hero for this. But I mean, come on. It hardly equates to finding some keys in a field. So I didn’t make a big deal about it. And instead reminded her of what a hero I was and how this was my day and I didn’t want her muscling in on it and trying to ruin it.
What a day that was! I wonder how many other amazing things I have forgotten about when writing up my blog. I mean there was probably loads from today that I will now need to tell you about tomorrow.
