Warming Up

I enjoyed seeing the BBC website trumpeting the hard work they had done in exposing an essay-writing cheat service that was still being promoted on youtube, with an article on their own website that clearly gave the website address and an impressive rundown of the services provided. Giving www.eduBirdie.com a much better and high-profile advert than they would have got from Youtube. Presumably for no payment, though if the BBC have come up with a way to subsidise the licence fee by pretending to be upset about stuff and then advertising it themselves, then I am all for that.

I love cheating at exams AND free TV.

Back in my day if you wanted to cheat at University then you had to find someone who had already done the tutorial that you were going to, borrow their essay and then copy it out verbatim in your own hand-writing. I somehow seemed to achieve this for most of my time at college without ever once having to be the first person to write an essay (surely that can’t be true). Whether my tutors realised that and couldn’t be arsed to say anything or just were never really listening I don’t know. I presume a bit of both. A part of me regrets wasting this amazing opportunity to study history properly, but another part of me recognises that the stuff that I was doing instead of history was more important for the way my life would turn out. If I hadn’t had all that practise of eating crisps and wanking then who knows where I’d be. It was the 1980s and there were no student loans and like many people I worked stupidly hard at school in order to get to University and do all my rebelling then. Which is why I didn’t lose my virginity until I was practically 20. And then even barely.

Anyway, cheat if you like. You’re only cheating yourself, unless you somehow get through it all and manage to get a good degree anyway because you’re good under exam conditions. And if someone has written you a good essay for you then at least you have something to revise. So you’re probably really helping yourself. Go out and have sex or eat crisps and have a wank (not at the same time, especially with salt and vinegar… I imagine) and get someone else to write your essays. But you will probably have to charge for the sex  (or sell the crisps or sperm or spermy crisps) to be able to pay for it.

My point is it’s weird that the BBC have promoted this site, given their supposed stand on it. It's been up for at least 24 hours as I write this and still no one has told them to take it down. So who are the real cheats? etc.

I have not been paid for promoting EduBirdy by the way. They said they'd give me a million pounds to mention them, but now they're saying they won't pay. You have to admire that commitment to cheating.