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Wednesday 13th March 2019


5943/18963
Being an older dad makes it hard to work out if you’re sliding into senility or just tired from lack of sleep. Or both. I was going to the supermarket this afternoon and got all the way there, decided to pop into the town centre for a coffee first and only then realised that I’d left my wallet at home. I had a small amount of cash and the ability to pay up to £30 on my phone, but it was not going to be enough. And even if it was I was worried that I might have lost my wallet on the walk, so I needed to check where it was. I had to drive home, find my wallet (on my bed for some reason) and then come out again.
Senility, exhaustion or just the kind of thing that could happen to anyone? Who knows?
But it left me coming back and doing the same things again, but about half an hour later than planned, like a mixture of Groundhog Day and Sliding Doors. How different would my life be because I forgot that wallet? Ultimately entirely different of course - I had set into motion a chain of events that would affect the life of myself and ultimately everyone else in the world. Just tiny differences for now, but who knows what terrible events I have caused or prevented due to my act of forgetfulness?
It’s a heavy responsibility being a human being. I only hope you can forgive or congratulate me when all of this has played out. Though really we will need to get Peter Howitt on board to work out exactly what would have happened to us all in the scenario where I brought my wallet first time so that we can properly assess the differences.
Certainly the second time I came to Hitchin nothing too exciting happened, so I feel sure that the first time would have been a laugh riot of brilliant bloggage if only I hadn’t gone home for my wallet. I might have met the woman I was going to marry. You know, next. But now, thanks to my absent-mindedness/senility I am now stuck with my rubbish old wife and family. When will I ever be allowed to mix things up a bit?
Never, cos I am in the boring Sliding Doors/Forgotten Wallet universe. To be fair there’s a good chance that the other Forgotten Wallet universe is equally boring, just with slightly different parameters. I am going to make that film. Every event changes the course of all our lives, but nonetheless our lives remain boring all the same. Just a different flavour of boring.
I wonder if I managed to book any guests for the Birmingham and last London gap for RHLSTP in the other universe, cos I’ve failed so far in this one. I am sure we’ll find some people to do it.

Another RHLSTP arrived today. It’s with Jon Ronson and it’s super good.

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