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Friday 31st July 2020


I never seem to remember, but going on holiday with a young family is always more stressful than being at home. But throw a bit of virus into the mix and you have the makings of a sitcom disaster. We headed to the Sussex coast today in blazing sunshine and heat that made it feel like we were abroad, thankfully the smell of rotten humous had evaporated. I can’t imagine the Hell that this would have been if I hadn’t discovered that pot.
We’d largely avoided the traffic (including an incredible dodge where we’d got round what looked like a 30 minute wait on a slip road - thanks Ian Tomtom) until we were 1 and a half miles from our destination. The beach road was lined with hundreds of cars on both sides - amazingly we weren’t the only ones who’d thought about getting away - and traffic was barely moving, whilst occasionally there would be a burst of vehicles coming the other way. It wasn’t clear what was happening, if this was just congestion or if there had been an accident, but my heart sank a bit. And all the time I was wondering if it was going to be possible to social distance on the beach if there were this many people here.
We’d also foolishly assumed we could pick up groceries and maybe a takeaway once we got here, but now I suspected that we would starve as we queued.
So after maybe 30 minutes the traffic started moving and we arrived at our flat. It seemed nice, but we were fraught and hungry by now and once my inlaws had arrived we walked the dog to the beach and went on a hunt for food. After a long trudge up steep dunes that they should put in gyms and across the beach we got to a crowded fish and chip shop and managed to order food. The wait for it to arrive was 45 minutes, so we went back to the beach and the kids dipped their toes in the sea whilst I bought some beer (and lost my fish and chips receipt).
Everyone else went back to the flat whilst I waited and so it was after 8pm before we finally sat down to eat. Maybe it was because I was starving and exhausted, but the food was great. The kids were too excited to get to sleep and it was an exceptionally warm evening, but eventually we got to bed. 
I had high hopes about our bed. It looked good. Usually beds in holiday lets are so ropey that I can never sleep. So I was disappointed to discover that every single spring in the mattress pings like a tinny organ every time you move. And the open door alarm on the fridge goes off randomly even when the door is closed.
So I don’t think I will be sleeping much for the next week. 
Holidays are now for making memories, not relaxing, though the memories of this one might be being very tired and then contracting a deadly virus. 

Series 3, episode 3 of Relativity went out today. Listen here.

And AIOTM went back 10 years to the Edinburgh Fringe. I remember this one being the most seat of the pants one we did (which is saying something) but it becomes mildly poignant now. We'd have been driving up to Edinburgh this weekend if only that bloke hadn't fucked a bat.

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