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A terrible night’s sleep, due to stodgy food and the mild anxiety I seem to get every time I more or less fall asleep and then wake up unable to recall what was just occupying my thoughts. It feels like the start of losing my memory entirely and that’s a bit scary so brings on thoughts of mortality. But I think it’s more of the gravy than the grave. Still four hours sleep (on the sofa, so my insomnia wouldn’t disturb Catie) was not the best start to the day, especially given we’d booked all our activities late and could only get a soft tennis session at 8am. I felt hungover sick as I played, even though I haven’t had a drink now for very nearly 22 months.
I then faced a cycle ride up that fucking hill to do a three hour session in the pool. Maybe I should just go on the most dangerous slide, give myself a heart attack and end this now.
Somehow I rallied, partly because we ended up having an incredibly bonding couple of sessions of the wild water slide. We hadn’t been sure if Ernie would be up for this one or even if he was allowed on it - to begin with I misunderstood the pool depth as the minimum height requirement and took him off to play elsewhere. But then I realised my mistake and we decided to let him have a go and of course he adored it. We went round many times, working together, staying as a family unit - at least trying to- and having the time of our lives. When we asked the kids if they’d rather be doing this slide or be playing on their iPad they said they’d prefer to do the slide. What an incredible turn up. If we can just get one installed at our house we will never have to rely on Apple again.
The kids were even teaming up to happily play with each other elsewhere, rather than their more typical bickering and fighting. I have said some mean things about Center Parcs and do remember they will imprison you if a major royal is buried during your stay, but this short break has done wonders for us. I’d say this one particularly Parcs is more focused on teenagers, but there’s plenty to keep the smaller ones happy and I am appreciative of what great ages the kids are at right now. Soon they will want to be away from us, but coming down those slides together today, we felt like we were one.
Phoebe made a teddy bear (well monkey actually) which took about 5 seconds but set us back £27 (well played Ian Centerparcs) and we played video games in the arcade. The early start made this day seem about four days long and helped turn this four day stay into a fortnight.
We ended up dancing to “Shut Up and Dance With Me” which Ernie had been singing all day, in a further display of unity that will be fleeting but memorable.
The frog hasn’t shown up again, so maybe it let itself out by the same frog door that it came in by? But the kids left a fun message for the next visitors (or at least the people cleaning the cabin) on the blackboard.
I don't know where they get this from.
If you’re really dedicated you can come and see me do another one at the Leicester Square Theatre on the 27th. Four interviews in 31 hours. I mean two. Two interviews.
