I went to Shepherd's Bush finest Thai restaurant tonight,
the Esarn Kheaw. It is the best place to eat on the Uxbridge Rd (if you don't count Nando's and Chicken Cottage, obviously) and it's not your typical Thai, specialising in North-Eastern Thai food which is spicy, but very tasty. I use to come here quite a lot when I first moved to the area, but haven't been here too much recently.
The friend I was dining with was a little late and the waiter was conscious of me sitting alone and asked me if I wanted to hear one of his barbarian jokes. I am not a big fan of jokes, which one would think was a handicap in my chosen profession, but the waiter was charming and likeable and trying to be nice, so I said I would love to hear his joke. "Have I told you about the archaelogist and the barbarian?" he asked.
"No," I told him.
He went on to tell me that an archaeologist searching in the jungle had discovered a living barbarian, who the waiter explained was a living prehistoric caveman with a thick forehead. I didn't want to pick him up on the fact that this wasn't really a barbarian in an historical sense, so I let this inaccuracy pass.
The joke was already taking a lot longer than I imagined it would, but there was still some way to go. The waiter was having fun telling it and as with most of shaggy dog style gags, I was guessing that the preamble might be more amusing than the punchline.
Anyway, the archaeologist takes the "barbarian" back to civilisation and teaches him about modern life, teaching the barbarian to speak. Finally the pair go to Hyde Park where they see a bush "Bush" says the caveman (the waiter doing an impression of how he imagined a caveman might speak). But the bush is moving and they look into the bush and seeing a man and a woman making love. The archaeologist is embarrassed by this and flustered tells the barbarian that the man is riding a bicycle (this was the first part of the joke that made no sense to me - because how would that help the embarrassment, just to give the love act a different name). The barbarian goes mad and rips off the guys head and drags the woman away by her hair. "What are you doing?" asks the archaeologist, "That is illegal."
The barbarian replies "Him riding my bicycle!"
And that apparently was the end of it. I didn't really get it to be honest. It's a poor joke and given that the caveman thinks that having sex is called "riding a bicycle" then his reaction is not very amusing. Also I wondered at what point the barbarian had met this woman, and how they had got to the point where he considered her "his". And why was she being unfaithful to the barbarian. Or had the barbarian just taken a fancy to the woman? I don't know. It didn't seem in the least bit amusing, or worth the build up. I laughed anyway, as did a woman who had arrived half way through for a takeaway, even though she was equally bamboozled.
I liked the waiter though, despite his poor joke, I appreciated him taking the time to entertain me. And my friend arrived just as the joke finished, so it had served its purpose.
Later I popped to the loo and when I got back the waiter was proudly telling the joke again. I don't know if my friend has asked for this, or whether the waiter just told this gag to anyone unfortunate enough to be sitting alone. I arrived back in time to hear most of it, which meant sitting through the same joke again. At least the first time I had the anticipation that the punchline might somehow turn out to be brilliant, now all I could do was wait for it to be over. My friend, God bless her, did not pretend to laugh at the punchline, possibly expecting something else to follow and the waiter offered to explain it to her, but she said she understood, which was a shame as I thought maybe I was missing something.
But I would rather have heard the joke twice than not at all (once might have been the perfect number though) as the service was genuinely friendly and bad jokes was all a part of that. Not many waiters enjoy their job as much as this guy, but it's a terrific family owned restaurant and the food was amazing (though I can never get beyond ordering the spicy pork North-East style which is awesome, so can't let you know too much about the rest of the menu). If you're ever in Shepherd's Bush and not in the mood for fried chicken (which is pretty much all that is sold up the Uxbridge Rd) then you must give them a try. Ask for a joke while you're waiting. The implication was that he had more barbarian jokes, so sorry if he tells you the same one and I have spoiled it for you.
