Am trying to put the Christ on a Bike programme together at the moment, but have been struggling to find old reviews and pictures and more pertinently the slide show that I used in the tour version of the piece. It's not the end of the world as I can recreate it all fairly easily, but I really want to put "The Gospel According To Me" (in which I create a begat-style genealogy proving that Jesus is my ancestor) in the programme. It only flashes up for a few seconds in the show and there was lots of funny things in there, so it'd be a cool little extra to take away with you. Of course I could just make it up again from scratch, but I was hopeful I might find the powerpoint presentation on a disc or computer.
I've had no luck so far. I found a box containing some old reviews - and interestingly one of them was illustrated with a photo of me on a different bike than the one in the poster, carrying a cross over my shoulder which I have no memory of doing - and I found the discs and script for Talking Cock and Hercules, but nothing for COAB.
I did however have three old laptops in a cupboard, one of which might contain what I needed. But two of them, as far as I remembered had died long ago (I don't know why I still have them), although the oldest, a big black brick that runs Windows 2000 which might even predate COAB had been junked due to being heavy and crap and having a battery that kept falling out.
Remarkably, not only did I find the battery and the correct lead for this computer, when I plugged it in and turned it on it snapped into life, going through its laborious booting up process. I wondered what I would find on this museum piece.
But just as it looked like I was about to discover its treasures all was lost. There was a log in screen. It showed my user name "richardh", but there was a box for a password and I realised immediately that that might be a stumbling point. I tried out all the passwords I use nowadays, but none of them were right. I put in a few words that might fit the bill like "cock" and "Cheddar" and "Fist" but none of them were any good. I was so close to opening this potential gold-mine (if nothing else there was definitely a copy of Civilisation II on there) but I had been stopped at the last door, by a concealed blow pipe which had shot a poisoned dart into my hopes and dreams.
I am sure there is some way around this inconvenience, but less convinced there is any point in taking the time or expense to do so - after all there is probably nothing useful to me on the computer. I just found it interesting that the password of a decade ago is lost to me. I think it might have been something slightly random set for me by Marc who used to work for Avalon, and obviously once upon a time I would have been able to enter it without thinking. But now, it is gone, along with many of my actual memories. There is something quite sadly poetic about it.
I did find the gospel according to me on a floppy disc - remember them? Some of you are probably too young and luckily had an external floppy disc drive and although my MacBook Pro struggled a little to open this ancient document I did manage to retrieve it. I am rewriting it a little bit, but it will be in the show and the programme in some form.
My second appearance on "So Right it's Wrong" was on tonight. It was recorded a long time ago, but funnily enough includes the same story about eating a pack of butter that I told on 6Music on Saturday. The naughty dog is also in there - though I am pretty sure I told it first, and they've moved it until later, which means Jack Whitehall back references it before it happens. But you can listen for the next week
on iPlayer. I had totally forgotten about most of what we talked about. PC Jesus is brilliant!
More easily readable versions of all those clippings are in the download section.
