Although it was as painful as always it was good to know that this was the last AIOTM I would have to write for some time. At least I had some time to work on it today, but my brain was tired and somewhat constipated and I didn't get enough done. Now I know that I can write the whole thing on a Monday if I have to (though it is not a pleasant writing experience) it seems hard to cajole myself into it. And the pressure to produce a show that is good enough for the people who are paying to see it, which includes enough of the running jokes, whilst finding something new to say is rather intense. It's all a bit like a kind of reverse drug, which makes you feel awful for two days, but once it's done and out of your system gives you a sense of euphoria. Or is it like child birth - awful as it is happening, you shout and scream and say you'll never do this again - but then your body shoots you full of happy juice and at the end of it all you're looking forward to the next one.
The pressure of producing a fitting finale was added on top of all this, and sales were looking great, which was great in most respects, but also meant I had a chance of being humiliated in front of 550 people. Would this be the week I had to come on and tell them all that I had got nothing for them? Or would, as always, my uncooperative brain snap out of its funk and find some inspiration at the last possible moment.
I had to abandon the computer in the evening anyway as I had another Christ on a Bike preview in Greenwich. The other act that was meant to be sharing the bill with me hadn't shown up, so things had gone up late as they tried to find a replacement, who had then overrun, so I was going on to do an hour of comedy about Jesus to an audience that was a bit tired and was expecting a stand up set.
Given these parameters it was a pretty successful gig and the first one where the new Christ on a Bike programmes were distributed. I had an ad libbed punt at the ideas I've been mulling around about the 10 commandments, which seemed to be forming into something interesting and were thus a possible extra for the AIOTM script. Just as I thought I might be losing some of the audience the begat routine got them right back on board. I am getting very quick at the memory bits now. The hardest thing is doing the genealogy list backwards, though this is the thing that impresses people the least.
I was late to bed knowing that I was going to get about five hours sleep, before another long and difficult day. But then at least my weekends would become my own again and I wouldn't be haunted by the ghost of Tiny Andrew Collings looming over my shoulder, asking me how I was going to incorporate him in an interesting way this time which would not damage my relationship with the real Andrew Collings.
I didn't tell Tiny Andrew Collings that I was planning to kill him (though had no idea how just yet). But I am not going to tell the real Andrew Collings that either.
