The hotel runs a shuttle bus to Phuket Town and without knowing too much about what is in Phuket Town or bothering to research it we thought we'd pop along for a look. We'd heard there was a great, cheap market there and one of the waiters at breakfast wrote down the name of it for us in Thai so we could ask for directions. But apart from that we were in the dark. The bus left at 1pm and came back at 4pm, which given it took over half an hour to get to the destination seemed like a small window of opportunity. Especially when it turned out that the cool market was a night market that didn't open til 6. I couldn't work out why the bus gave us such little time in town, though suspect it is so that when you get there the men at the bus stop can convince you to get in a tuk-tuk (little taxi) to get to where you want to go. Indeed the minute we were out of the bus a man was giving us the hard sell of three shops we had to visit in various parts of the town, which he could take us to for 100 baht. The best souvenirs, the best tailor and the best department store. I didn't like being badgered and definitely didn't want to buy a suit (especially if he couldn't guarantee that the tailor would say "Lovely Jubbly" to me) and we wanted food first anyway so said we were going to walk and asked him to point us in the right direction. He pointed us in the wrong direction. We got a bit lost. It was really hot and we were tired and we seemed to be in a part of town with just local shops or Mcdonalds. Another man offered to help us, though again I was suspicious that he was just trying to direct us to the shop of a friend. My girlfriend asked him where we could get some food. He wanted us to get a tuk tuk to the bay, but we didn't have time. He pointed to our map and we walked off towards that.
It's always like this with me - I don't prepare and then bowl along hoping to get somewhere without knowing where I am. We were hot and hungry and I was now confused about what direction we were heading in. I feared we were totally lost and my girlfriend was getting annoyed with me for refusing to get the help of the original man. I told her that he was just trying to con us to go to shops we didn't want to go to, but she said that maybe we could have told him where we did want to go and he could have helped us. She had a point, but I had to stick to my guns. We were so out of tourist territory now that there weren't any men asking if we needed a tuk tuk. I wished there was so we could get back to somewhere where we might have fun. Time was ticking away.
By luck as much as judgement I worked out where we should be heading and then spotted a hotel that was on our map and worked out where some shops were. We headed that way and found a couple of local cafes which looked like they welcomed tourists. We'd seen a couple of confusing looking eating establishments which looked like they catered only for locals. And we had some really excellent and cheap food. So luckily calm was restored and I looked like I knew what I was doing, though we now had only 90 minutes left before we were whisked off home again. We thought about not taking the bus and staying to check out the night market. I had now realised that we had essentially been right outside it when we spoke to the second guy who tried to help us, so we could have got an idea of if it was worth hanging around for.
We decided to head back down towards it and have a look around and then make a decision about whether Phuket Town was worth spending the evening in. It was a lot less touristy than I had imagined it would be, but then maybe we were in the wrong bit.
Now with our bearings sorted out we had a bit more fun. We headed to the night market and were surprised to see rats running down the gutters near to it in broad daylight, with no fear. It was a bit disconcerting, but only to us apparently. The night market was empty and quite small and we weren't convinced that it was worth waiting to see, so we headed up the road to look at some other shops. On the way we passed a sign for am establishment called "Happy Ending Massage". I thought it was nice that they made that clear in the name. No beating around the bush for them (though maybe that isn't the best choice of phrase - plenty of beating around the bush for them in fact). I've had a few massages in my life and always wondered if I'd get asked if I wanted a happy ending. I'd have been happy to take it in most cases (though not that time when the man put the hot and cold stones on me, though he did touch my cock a couple of times, so he was the closest I got), but I always wondered if it was on the cards. But if you went to Happy Endings Massage then you'd be pretty sure about what you'd be getting. Or pretty frustrated if they person who had named it that just liked fairy stories.
We checked out a couple of souvenir shops. I wanted a pack of cards and a lady offered to sell me some for about three pounds. They didn't look worth three pounds, but she pointed out that the marked price was nearer to eight pounds, so I was getting a bargain. I tried to haggle her down 20 baht (about 40p) but she was having none of it. I should have been happy to spread some of my money around to the local population but still I tried to haggle. I am evil. But not as evil as that woman. The cards were meant to be 100% plastic but they were made of very thin card and were almost useless, though we did play a few hands of blackjack when we got back to the hotel, so I guess it was worth it.
We decided to catch the bus home, though I still couldn't quite understand why the trip was so short (so you had to rush to those three stores?)
Back at the hotel I discovered that tonight was a lunar eclipse in Asia and though I nearly missed it playing SuperMarioKart on my DS in my room, we got outside just in time to see the moon slowly disappearing. It was pretty cool. For a while it looked like there was another moon in front of the moon, but I don't think there was. We felt pretty stuffed and were going to skip dinner, but in the end decided to go for a walk and ended up getting some food. A band was playing nearby, working their way through the hits of Boney M. I was reminded of my show "Ra Ra Rasputin" and they ended their set with that song. I thought about reviving it. I was (as far as I know) the first person to write a theatre show based on the music of a band, years before Mama Mia or We Will Rock You. The mistake I made was to choose the music of Boney M. Funny to be hearing that music in this location. Especially with a lunar eclipse in progress. Strange world.
