International Women's Day - a whole 24 hours where it was important for us to treat women as if they were equal. Before then getting back to normal tomorrow. Though they also have Mother's Day coming up. How many days do these bloody women want? And why put the two they have so close together? If you include Valentine's and February 29th (the one day every four years they can force men to marry them) they have four days in the space of little over a month. Then nothing again for ages. Which shows the poor planning skills of the female brain.
When I posed this tongue in cheek question on Twitter (forgetting that it is not a place for subtlety or sarcasm) a lot of people told me women should have every day of the year as their celebration. But in fact that would be foolish. If we celebrated every day then that would become the norm and there would in fact be no celebration. That's the problem with the wish that it could be Christmas every day and that's why the Queen ends up pissing people off with her two birthdays. You'd think it would be cool having two birthdays, but more than one a year just makes people resent you. Getting one birthday is enough. You actually need to do these things about every twelve months or people lose interest.
I tried to parody the people who complain about charity money going abroad, by tweeting, "I hate international women's day. Why should we care about women in other countries when we have loads of women in the UK who need our help?" I was quite proud of the satire, plus the underlying misunderstanding of the day that it was about women "needing men's help" and thought that surely anyone following me would know that that was a joke. I was wrong, it turned out. Comedy is a difficult business. It would work better if the government would institute my scheme to execute anyone who failed to understand my jokes. Very quickly we'd get down to a hard core of people with a brilliant sense of humour and everything would be fine. Though I might get a bit lonely on my own.
I had some time to do some actual work today, but managed to squander most of it. Which actually felt good. It's the first time I've been able to fritter for ages (though I did at least managed to pack for the next five nights away and get programmes and merch down to the car, which was no small task). I played Monopoly on my iPhone in the bath instead of writing up film and book proposals. I think my brain had just staged a mini revolution and made the decision that it was going to have some time to itself, which is fair enough as it's been quite an intense couple of months. Also this time next month I will be married and thus never have any time to do this kind of thing again, as my bloody wife will be making me do the gardening and DIY and stuff. Women hey? Aren't they marvelous? I am glad we get one day to treat them as if they are equal. It makes a nice break from the rest of the year where we are forced to admit that they are superior. An international day where they come down to our level is a good thing.
