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Wednesday 22nd August 2012

And typically as the end drifts into view I now start to enjoy myself and wish it wasn't ending so soon. I understand that I am utterly pathetic, but I had a couple of drinks with some of the comics after Set List tonight and rued the fact that it would soon be over and that I hadn't done enough kicking back and having fun. It's not surprising with the stress and the illness and all the other stuff I've had to do, but I have neglected the having fun part of the month. But it's hard to describe the psychological difference between having 9 shows to go and having four. Sounds like about the same, but it's not. Talking Cock has really hit its stride again this week and I've had a late flourish of good reviews. It hasn't made too much difference in terms of ticket sales, but all these midweek shows have been more than half sold out (partly thanks to the 2 for 1 offer that is extended to Thursday, but won't be in operation on Friday and Saturday - you could save yourself £9 each if you come on Thursday instead of Friday) and the outside noise has been minimal and I've been able to do proper performances of the show.
As always my view from inside the shaken up snow globe that is the Edinburgh Fringe is only a snapshot of my self-indulgent emotions. I think I have managed to convey some of the fear and disappointment that has come for many with this year's relative lack of punters, but of course I have been very wrapped up in myself and the pressure and fatigue have skewed things a little bit. But being well and being out (I didn't go to bed until 3 am and I had drunk a glass of wine and TWO beers - bottles, not pints, I am not insane) and coming off the high of another good Set List made me feel a lot better. And ridiculously I felt like I wanted the whole thing to go on a bit longer. What an arsehole. If I was you and this blog was made from paper I would rip it up in anger and throw the confetti pieces into the wind shouting, "Herring, you're a fucking meatus, get over yourself." But I am not and it isn't, so you're just going to have to lump it.
I take on too much when I am up here, for sure. But maybe I like it like that. I can't believe I wrote a radio show while I was up here last year. Or an AIOTM the year before. Or that I am supposed to get a sitcom script into shape in the next week. But I guess things are looking pretty positive. I am also hosting a pilot game show at the Fringe on Saturday so maybe things are finally going my way. Or maybe they are continuing to almost go my way, but then not diverting off at the last minute and going someone else's way. Either way I know how lucky I am to have the level of success that I have. I have never intended to look like I am moaning, just (probably stupidly) giving an honest appraisal of where I am at.
And finally some funny stuff has been happening in the news - it's been slim pickings for the podcast monologue this time round (though I haven't really been reading the papers which doesn't help). Poor Prince Harry had his privacy invaded, though I noticed that the papers that printed the nude image of him put an asterisk over his anus, which is just like censoring an anus with another anus. He can't win. He wears a Nazi uniform and people get upset. He doesn't wear a Nazi uniform and people get upset. What do these people want of him? Though there is a chance that he was wearing something offensive, saw the camera and just quickly undressed so he wouldn't be caught out again. I am scouring the photos for a sheet with some eye holes cut in it. It's all very unfair on him though. He's a young, single man and he's in Las Vegas - let him act his age. We should really be chastising whatever slimy piece of work it was that took the photo and then tried to sell it on. Though in tribute to him I might do my next snooker podcast in the nude (I will stick an asterisk on my anus to avoid any embarrassment).
The story about the pensioner restoring the fresco in an Italian church is just beautiful though. She's made a monkey out of Jesus, so it might mean you could play a trick on a sleeping friend by convincing them that they have woken up in an alternate Planet of the Apes reality (but only if they're asleep in that church). But it speaks so much of humanity and the true nature of art. Art, like Olympic sport, is an unfair representation of human ability. Most of us are well-meaning but useless like this old lady. We try to do something to help and we end up fucking it up, simply because we're not good enough. So whilst it's sad that this beautiful painting has been ruined and destroyed, doesn't the new work reveal more about us as a flawed and hopeless species. They are talking about covering the new version up, but I think that if they leave it as it is they will get a lot more tourists going to the church. Who wanted to visit Sanctuary of Mercy Church near Zaragoza before? Who wants to go now? This piece of art reveals the benign incompetence of humanity, but also it makes you want to laugh and then makes you feel a bit sick and broken. It's thus much more affecting than the technically accurate, but ultimately rubbish version of the picture that was there before. We must start a campaign to keep the painting as it is. And who is to say there hasn't been a monkey Jesus and shouldn't the monkeys have a place to come and worship Him?
Oh man, that old lady has made me glad to be alive. And actually slightly more likely to become a Christian too.

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