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We are spending our weekend out in Norfolk with our friends (the ones with the 5 year old daughter who unusually finds bums amusing) and had a relaxing day eating, drinking, going for a walk in the park and watching football. We also spent 45 minutes designing our own T shirts. My artistic talents are second to none (literally so bad that I am not able to even come second whatever the competition, even if I am up against a chimp and a block of concrete) so I as looking forward to the contest. My wife, her friend and the 5 year old were all up against me. I could take this rabble surely.
Apparently not.
I decided to design an exclusive Me1 Vs Me2 Snooker T shirt. This would be one of a kind and be a perfect prize for one of my monthly subscriber draws. Who wouldn’t want to own a terrible T-shirt with a childish scrawl dedicated to the world’s most obscure piece of entertainment? Everyone, that’s who. Everyone wouldn’t. So the idea of forcing someone else to receive this was very appealing.
I want to make it clear that I tried my absolute hardest to draw a snooker board. I don’t want you thinking that I wilfully skewed perceptive in order to make some artistic point about the naivety of the adult world. I just can’t draw for shit. And I really thought I was doing it vaguely correctly.
All the principal characters get a look in on the T shirt. I have depicted Me1 saying “Stay in School”. Me2 would liked to have said “Fuck you!” but there was a 5 year old in the room so he said “I let my snooker do the talking”. Liono said “Meow”. Smithers (who I didn’t want to include as he’s rarely in the podcast, but my wife and the young girl insisted says “I am not so interested as this is an audio format and I am deaf.” and then I added a beautifully wrought depiction of my wife saying, “You’re not playing SNOOKER!” which was my best memory of her words when she chanced across me skulking in the basement in frame 48 (she might have said “Are you playing snooker?”, but art is all about interpreting the world from your own perspective, so that’s ok). I then signed the T-shirt explaining to the child opposite me that all great works of art must be signed for verification.
This T shirt will be one of the prizes in the bumper new year badge subscribers draw (there will be one more draw before that where you can win a Pointless quiz book signed by Richard and Xander and a bumper Doctor Who DVD set of Regenerations). So head to gofasterstripe and make a monthly donation of one pound or more to be in with a shot of owning this amazing T shirt. You will be the envy of no one. I am wondering if I should buy some blank T shirts and some fabric pens and make a homemade T shirt part of the regular prize.
More friends came round for dinner and afterwards we played the truly horrible, but incredibly funny game Cards Against Humanity. As long as you are prepared to suspend all feelings of offence it’s a great game to play amongst friends. You are randomly given cards with offensive and weird statements on them and then someone reads a Blankety-Blank style phrase and you have to choose the card from your set that will get the biggest laugh. Sometimes you can win a round, as I did, by playing “Kids with bum cancer”, but I was more proud (in so many ways) of winning a round with the word “Friction”. It’s not a very subtle game, which is why it’s wonderful when subtlety works. Get it for Christmas - though you probably don't want to play it with your gran
Once again it was nice to have a relatively normal Saturday, like a regular person would have, even if elements of it were still frankly weird.
