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Thursday 11th December 2014

4400/17319

Today's 4400th blog is dedicated to “The 4400”, the ultimately poorly executed and abruptly terminated sci-fi series. One blog written for every person who returned. Personally I am very excited about getting to 4444, (by my reckoning on January 24th, which should be before my baby arrives, but how could it resist such numerical significance. I hope it weighs 44 pounds too and is born at 4.44am.
I  bought the first pack of nappies for that as yet unborn child. They're not cheap and someone is just going to piss and shit all over them: it's likely to be my baby, but I am thinking it might be a more convenient system for me too. Who wants all the bother of stopping your busy day of playing Terminator 2 pinball, when you could just carry on playing but with a nice warm bottom? We will see. I have the nappies (there's over 20 of them, which I am assuming will be enough for our first 2 babies), but I still can't visualise putting a tiny human being into them. I laugh maniacally when I try to envisage any of this, from the gruesome horror of birth to the back-breaking responsibility of caring for a defenceless, excrement-filled baby. I think we're just both starting to realise what we've done. Don't have sex people. It leads to some terrible places. I think it's too late for us to say we don't want to do this any more. But it might not be too late for you. Stop having sex.
I have a new exercise programme, which I must admit is not working very well. It's called the Pointless work out and all it involves is making sure I am at the gym when Pointless is on and I must exercise for the entire length of the show. This should give you six 45 minute “work-outs” a week, though they are likely to be lighter ones like cycling or running as you are meant to watch and enjoy the show at the same time. But I am guessing that if you could keep that up every day, even if exercising quite gently then that would have a very positive effect on your health. Plus you get to watch Pointless. It doesn't have to be Pointless, any daily show of about that length would work, or maybe a podcast or a game of football or whatever. It's not really working for me, because often by 5pm I am feeling a bit tired and not in the mood to go to the gym, or even to just go to my own TV and do some walking on the spot or whatever, but I think there might be something in it anyway. To exercise during something that you do every day and which doesn't demand your full attention all the time and which has a definite beginning and end.
As it is I have not quite got back into the run of exercising since I was ill (and I am not 100% better yet). With Christmas coming up and no real pressing work to do I am feeling like taking it easy (I mainly played video games today and then drank most of a bottle of wine quite quickly tonight and got more drunk than I've been for ages - it was a lot of fun). But in 2015, the Pointless exercise programme will come into full flow. I might even be able to do a video of it, especially if I can get Richard and Xander involved. Or maybe it could just become an extra element of the actual show. Do they have exercise bikes that power TVs? Because that would be a great incentive to carry on.

The Andy Zaltzman RHLSTP (for some reason released out of record order) is now up in all the usual places. I have no memory of what happened in it. So it's lucky I film or at least blog about most things I do so that I have some kind of record to make up for failing brain.

It's also on audio on the BCG and iTunes


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