4444/17363
My four thousand, four hundred and forty-fourth blog. This is the big one folks. It will be 1111 days before we hit anything like this again, so do make the most of it. Though it’s less than two years to my 5000th consecutive blog. It’s stupid and ultimately irrelevant milestones like that that keep me going. But if I can’t stop at 4444 then when can I stop? I will be blogging from my grave, I know it. In fact I might set up some kind of (robot?) system where the blog can continue from beyond the grave - “Another quiet day, lying in the dark, waiting for the Rapture. Actually the Rapture might have happened. Not sure I would have been involved. This is pretty boring. Wish I’d brought my iPhone. Imagine how many games of Yahtzee I could have played”.
Maybe by the time I am dead (in two years time) they will be able to download my consciousness into a computer and I will be able to just play Yahtzee for the rest of eternity. That’d be cool. I’d be playing Yahtzee in myself. I would be the Yahtzee dice as I played them. That would be the most sexually exciting thing that could ever happen. I hope they can download a bit of my libido so I can enjoy it. If they can find any of it. I am 47 and a half and thus largely untroubled by the tiny man down my trousers now. Though my penis is going from strength to strength.
I was well enough to catch up on some podcasting today and tried out my new Yeti microphone (I have finally seen a Bigfoot) and to give Garageband another try and have a go at editing. I have more or less accepted now that my only way of producing recorded comedy is to do it myself, so am going to try and teach myself how to put stuff together and see what can be achieved. Terry, the producer who usually edits the Warming Up audio (and who does such a good job that no one even really knows that he is there) seemed happy to let me try emulate him, though I was a bit cack-handed and awkward to begin with. The basics of editing bits out is pretty simple on Garage Band, but somehow I still managed to sometimes remove the wrong bit, or be unable to nip out a tiny error. It took a little while, but I got better at it.
I have always done my best to avoid doing anything technical, because I am pretty useless at it. Or am I useless at it because I avoid it? But I hope that this year I, and the other nerds I work with who understand this stuff better, can start making ever more slick content (and yes, there’s a long way up from the current levels of slickness). I am no audiophile and I despise everything those perverts do to innocent sound waves, but the new microphone did make things seem a bit sharper to me. But what do I know. Some people can’t see colour and I am incapable of distinguishing any sound from another. It makes editing sound really hard. But hopefully I can overcome this disadvantage and be the best editor of all time.
To test the mic and Garageband further I recorded
another frame of Me Vs Me Snooker. I wish I had more control over what happened in this as it has become bogged down in the increasingly odd decisions of the governing body of the Self-Playing Snooker Federation/Board. But I am a mere red ball in this world and have no more say in what happens than you do. I thoroughly enjoyed being back on the green board and I wish that I had recorded more frames this year. Self-playing snooker holds up a mirror to society and it would have been interesting to see what the players and commentators would have made of recent events. It was oddly therapeutic. I think perhaps we could all benefit from allowing ourselves to be taken over by tiny parts of ourselves once a week to play snooker and say the first thing that comes into our heads, and then record it and put it in the internet for no one to listen to. Give it a go. It made me feel happy.
I am in no way promising that you listening to it will make you anything but annoyed. But it was a thrilling frame of snooker. I only wish the commentators were able to capture that. But they can’t. If only there was some way to carry this on beyond the grave too, but I guess self-playing snooker will be my legacy.
I really don’t know where this year is going to take me, though I realise that even more than usual it’s pretty much out of my hands yet. It feels like we’re treading water waiting for our new arrival and maybe we should be making the most of our independence. Was this my last ever Saturday night without a child? Maybe. At least I didn’t waste it.
