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I was sad to hear of the death of Keith Harris. The TV figures from my childhood are falling thick and fast, one way or the other and it’s sad that it’s a slight relief to see an entertainer’s name in the news only to find out that he has, thank God, only died. I remember seeing Harris and Orville for the first time on Summertime Special or some such variety show and Orville saying, “I want to go wee” and Harris saying, “You can’t. We’re on telly,” but Orville insisting, “I want to go wee,” and Harris saying, “You’ll have to wait” and Orville screeching, “I want to go wee!” Finally Harris relented and said, “All right, well go wee then!”
Orville then said, “Weeeeee!"
It made me laugh for about five minutes. I was 28 years old at the time. And also on a bus. Which I then got off of. You didn’t think I was on a bus did you, but I was.
I also remember when Cheddar was abuzz because Keith Harris had stopped off for dinner in our local fish and chip shop. I mean we didn’t have much to talk about and celebrities didn’t show up very often in the area, apart from the predatory Frankie Howerd who lived nearby (and once tried to chat up my brother-in-law in the video shop) and the slightly more predatory Gary Glitter who lived in Wedmore with his young girlfriend who he had met while she was at school and who was still only a teenager, but everyone just gave a nudge and a wink as they discussed this fact as if it was the most normal thing in the world and they’d all be doing it if they were big rock stars. The 1970s were a very different time.
Hopefully Keith Harris was the acceptable face of showbiz Harrises (though I did once hear a story about him doing a ventriloquism act with an unusual puppet told by one, I think laughing, BBC PA who had witnessed it. The 1980s were a very different time), but his career did show the ups and downs of fame. He is quoted about the difficulties in coping with performing to 30 people after performing to 3000 (thank goodness I never experienced the highs and so the lows don’t seem so bad) and his fortunes seemed to be dependent on the fancies of my generation. We loved him when we were 6, found him naff and mawkish when we were teenagers and then when we were post-modern ironic students we loved him again, allowing him to tour Universities doing a rude version of his show with Orville and Cuddles having sex in their box (my wife saw the act and said it involved a joke where Cuddles threatened to shoot Orville unless they had sex and Keith asked what happened and Orville said “Well you didn’t hear a gun shot. Yes, it’s a rape joke but the 2000s were a very different time. And also it’s a monkey raping a duck and I am not sure animals are bound by the same moral rules as humans, driven as they are by instinct. I still condemn Cuddles for his this sex crime, made worse by the fact that it counts as bestiality and paedophilia as well. I don’t think we can blame Keith for the actions or words of his puppets though. He did his best to keep them behaving, just as he did his best to stop Orville going wee on TV.
Now as middle-aged people it seems the audience that loved, eschewed and then re-embraced Harris’ antics remember him with fondness and mourn his passing with genuine sadness. Perhaps he’d have liked it more if we’d stayed loyal to him throughout and he hadn’t had to turn to drink, but this business is precarious and unforgiving and if you end up being remembered with a smile that’s a result.
Plus he won series 2 of the Farm, so you know, he had some highs later in his career too.
There aren’t many Keiths left in the world and if one had to die I know which one I would like to go. But RIP Keith. I look forward to the tabloid cartoons that show you getting your wings in Heaven, flying above Orville who looks on with dumb jealousy.
I found out about a gig that I had forgotten I had agreed to on the Lord of the Dance Settee tour.
I'll be in Bridport on 11th June doing a 60 minute version of the show (with support). And people of Bristol, if you missed my two rapidly sold out shows in your city, there's a chance to catch Lord of the Dance Settee on Saturday in Clevedon.
Book now, it's selling fast. 
