Where I eat for "The Metro"

Bucci 195 Balham High Road 020 8673 5459
If you find yourself in Balham and you're hungry you may be thinking that your life couldn't get any worse. But don't be scared. Just pop into Bucci on the High Road. It's a great place for an understated date, not show-offy, but good food and friendly atmosphere and you are close enough to other people's tables to listen to their conversations and laugh at them. (also close enough to then get punched if you aren't too subtle about it)

Newtons, 35 Abbeville Road SW4 8673 0977
I used to live 20 metres from this restaurant and never went there. I was young. I thought it looked arsey. But since I've moved I regularly pop back to Abbeville Road and of the many fine eating establishments there, this is now my favourite. It isn't at all arsey (although maybe now I'm older I'm just more of an arse). They do a very fine Sunday roast.

The Pepper Tree, 19 Clapham Common South Side SW4 7622 1758
Extremely good Thai food, but itÂ’s cheap, because they sit you on benches on long tables and get you in and out very fast. There's usually a queue, but you won't have to wait long. But it's fun and the food is spicy and delicious. Great for a pre- or post-Clapham Picture House nosh-up

Smiley's Café, Bedford Hill, Balham
This is where I go for a fry up. I like it for the hopeful quality of the name, as much as for the food. But you get to dine with some of Balham's finest residents and the staff are cheerful (not as cheerful as the name implies) and friendly. Good for egg and chips.

Sainsbury's, Balham High Road
As you will have noticed I don't like going too far away from Balham (Clapham for the weekends. It's not all work, work, work) Mostly I eat in my flat. I have found the Sainsbury "Be Good To Yourself" range most adequate. They now do a slightly swankier version which you steam in your microwave. You get a good quality of nutcase in Sainsbury's. For more information see my web-site www.richardherring.com

THE IDIOTS WOULDN'T ALLOW ME TO HAVE SAINSBURY'S, SO THIS IS WHAT I HURRIEDLY COBBLED TOGETHER AS A REPLACEMENT

The Italian Kitchen - central London (sort of a bit beyond shaftesbury ave, near TCR. A theatre is over the road)
As you can see I don't really like to leave Balham (though I'll go up to the bright lights of Clapham at the weekend), but if I am ever "in town" with "the lads" we like to eat here. I have always got drunk when I've been here, so can't remember what the food is actually like. But that if nothing else is a testament to the efficacy of their booze.