Long questionnaire for a gig in Brighton

1. Can you describe your latest show in one sentence?

A celebration of men and their porridge guns, which is rude, sensitive, funny, sad, intelligent and shocking.
2. What were your inspirations for it?
I shared a theatre with the Vagina Monologues with my last show and began to wonder why no-one had taken the extremely obvious step of doing a male version of the show. I decided that it was because celebrating the penis was seen as a ridiculous idea. I wanted to find out why this was the case.
3. Why so much about penises?
I like to take a theme for a show and explore it thoroughly. So to digress away from genitalia would spoil the point.
4. Do you have penis envy?
No.
5. Have you had complaints from 'Mary Whitehouse' types who have taken your press releases to mean you actually are talking about your cock?
No.
6. Do you completely focus upon men, or do you make room for women too?
After seeing the Vagina Monologues and feeling a bit excluded as a man, I wanted to make sure my show was accessible to everyone. We are nearly all consumers of the penis (don't consume it if you can help it though). I don't think our genitals are supposed to be treated in isolation. They are made to be shared, like Quality St chocolate and I always end up with the unpleasant tasting green ones that no-one else wants.
7. Are you heckled a great deal?
Not a lot. I tend to get more questions than anything. last night a woman asked if men had ever had sex with the ground. I replied that of course they have, as men will fuck mud. The night before a woman at the back asked me to get my cock out. i told her there was no point as she wouldn't be able to see it from that far back.
8. Are your audiences primarily men, or mixed?
If anything there are slightly more women, but there is a wonderful mixture. I get a lot of couples and a lot of gangs of women. Also quite a few gay men. the show goes better when there are groups of women laughing raucously. I would say the show is not suitable for under 16s or for a first date.
9. Do you aim to intimidate women or men at all? Does it ever happen accidentally?
I do my best not to. I play around with expectations early in the show, but the show is about celebrating men and women. And making men feel better about themselves by explaining that most of their genital worries are foundless.
10. How are you the male answer to the 'Vagina Monologues'?
I feel I have already answered this
11. How many countries have you sold the rights to your show to?
I am not sure. Around a dozen, from Iceland to Israel.
12. Is it stand-up or more of a 'play'?
It is theatrical stand-up. More like a funny lecture than a stand up gig though. But it's me talking to an audience about cocks (Hence the title) and thus not a play. It might work in some stand-up clubs but is a complete piece and not really suitable for a drunker audience full of hecklers.
13. When is your book due for publication?
September 2003 if I ever finish writing it.
14. What's it about?
It is all about cocks, in greater detail than the show, mixture of academia, humour and titillation!
15. When did you start 'doing' comedy?
Profesionally in 1989.
16. What was the 'Seven Raymonds' about?
It was a group of six people, none of whom was called Raymond, doing sketches. Mostly rubbish in hindsight probably, but not bad at the time and it was where me and Stew got together as a writing team.
17. How many times have you performed at the Edinburgh festival?
A lot. I think I've done about 18 or 19 shows at 11 festivals between 1987 and 2002
18. Had any more run-ins with Keith Allen?
No.
19. Did you perform 'Christ on a Bike' because you had reached a mid-life crisis and turned to religion for the answers?
Not exactly. It was about getting to 33 and working out whether I had achieved as much in my life as Jesus, whether I might be the new jesus and why I am obsessed with Jesus depsite being an atheist.
20. What did you study at Oxford university? And the grade?
History 2:1
21. Have you always wanted to perform comedy?
Pretty much, yes. i remember doing puppet shows behind the settee for my mum and nan and loving it when they laughed..... 28 years old I was.
22. Have you ever had any 'proper' jobs?
Yes. Did a lot of temp work when I started. I helped compile the phone book for West London in 1989. I changed Stewart Lee's name to Stewart Wee. Ha ha . I got him.
23. Are your parent's proud of your achievements? Have they always supported your career direction?
I think they are proud, but my friend from school is currently writing a biography of Shelley. I think my mum would prefer me to be doing that rather than writing about cocks. But they have always been supportive and also provided the genetic material to create me (and thus everything I have ever done). I owe them too much of a debt to ever pay off, which is why i will never give them any money as it's not worth even trying.
24. Who are your comic inspirations?
Monty Python, The Young Ones, Ted Chippington, Ken Campbell, Stewart Lee.
25. 'Lee & Herring' - combining yourself and Stewart Lee, are described as a very successful double act. Are you planning on working with him in the future? What's been your favourite thing you've done with him?
We have no plans to work together, but that doesn't mean we won't at some point. It's just no-one is offering us work together at the moment and we are both busy on our own stuff. i think we were just getting somewhere very exciting with TMWRNJ series 2 so it's a shame it got taken off the air, but there you go.
26. Would you rather remain a double act or to 'go it' alone? Have you defeated your single stand-up demons? (Where did they come from?)
I am happy going it alone at the moment and have overcome my problems witn performing alone, which largely came from some humiliating experiences as a stand-up a decade ago and a lack of faith in my abilities.
27. Have you many fans? Any crazed nutters or nympho's? Ever gone out with any?
I hope we have a few fans. They tend to be intelligent and polite and quite funny. Occasionally someone gets a bit obsessive, but never in any scary kind of way. we have always tried to listen and respond to the views of the people who like us. They are mostly teenage boys and I have no desire to sleep with them.
28. Do you ever try and blag stuff from companies, etc, using your comic status?
we used to try as a joke on our old radio station, but have simply never been successful enough for this to happen. Nor would we want to. It seems to me that the companies should give you free stuff when you're struggling, rather than when you are on TV and getting paid well.
29. What other famous comedians have you worked with?
Steve Coogan, Alistair Macgowan and Ronni Ancona, Sally Phillips, Al Murray, Kevin Eldon, Julia Sawalha...the list goes on
30. Have you branched out into any other types of media?
I've done a bit of journalism
31. What's been your favourite radio work?
The Lee and herring live radio shows were a lot of fun
32. Much television stuff?
Don't understand that question
33. Which episode of the BBC1 drama 'The Servants' are you in? Have we missed it?
Episode 1. It has been on. so if you didn't see it you've missed it.
34. How many scripts have you written?
An impossible question to answer
35. Most successful?
Talking Cock is probably the most successful project so far.
36. Personal favourite?
I like Punk's not Dead and Playing Hide and Seek with jesus.
37. Where does all your material come from?
I copy it from the Goodies.
38. Do you 'do' much journalism stuff? Would you like to be a full-time journalist?
I do a bit. no I wouldn't like to be a journalist full-time. They are all scum. Apart from you and my girlfriend.
39. Ever won any awards for anything?
On the Hour won a few, but since then - not a dicky bird.
40. Do you enjoy touring?
I like doing the shows, but all the other stuff like the travelling and staying in hotels is a bit depressing.
41. Favourite country? (Any anecdotes?)
Australia (no)
42. What, in your view, has been the most successful thing you have ever done?
Talking Cock
43. What has been your overall personal favourite?
You've already asked this question
44. What's the maddest thing you've done?
Appeared naked on far too many occasions
45. What do you think of Brighton?
I like it very much and have always had fun there. Mainly playing on the pier though.
46. How do you let off steam?
By drinking too much alcohol and answering questionnaires that are much too long
47. What's your greatest fear?
You have nothing to fear, but fear itself....and monsters.
48. What historical figure do you most admire?
Rasputin. I am exactly the same as him.
53. Any advice for Brightonians?
Take better care of your piers.
54. Favourite TV shows?
The Simpsons, Larry Sanders, Sopranos, 24
55. Any great embarrassments?
Many. Usually involving being drunk in the company of a celebrity I admire
56. What are your future plans and ambitions?
Once I have written my book, I am writing a sex comedy film. I will be touring Talking Cock again in the autumn and hope to work with Al Murray again. I also hope to get into the Guinness Book of Records for answering the longest questionnaire ever.

Thanks
R