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In an alternate Universe my TV show and book "Everything Happens For No Reason" about an average woman finding out how she is faring in a universe of infinite possibilities, would be a runaway success and I would be a rightful billionaire.
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Paid Substack subscribers can read my first chapter here (and the various script versions are also available if you search for them and I think also the taster tape of the sitcom - you should really become a paid subscriber. You get so many cool things! Also how rude to read my diary and not even pay for it!).]
Sadly I am in this Universe where no one wanted to make or print it and so instead tonight went to the launch of Andrew Hunter Murray's new book,
"Everything Happens So Much" about an average woman finding out how she is faring in a universe of infinite possibilities, which will surely be a runaway success and make him a rightful billionaire.
It could have happened to a nicer bloke.
Actually that is clearly not true. Even if the universe is infinite some things will remain constant and one of those things is that Andrew Hunter Murray will always be the most decent of men. Theme parks should make worlds based on his books if they want to be sure they never have to hastily dismantle them.
Some people might think this similarity of content and title is too close to be coincidental (there is also, of course, a film called Everything Everywhere All At Once about an average woman finding out how she is faring in a universe of infinite possibilities and The Midnight Library about a woman seeing how she is faring in other universes, but without the important part of having the word "everything" in the title).
I am very confident that none of the others have been influenced by me at all, nor I by them. It's just one of those ideas that had drifted into the public consciousness and taking a fairly average person and giving them a chance to see how their life might have turned out is really the only way to cover it. My title is the best though.
And I had the advantage of (almost) getting it out first, if only the people at Channel 4 who made the decision had liked it (everyone else who read the script or was involved in our taster tape loved it, but there we go- an alternate Richard Herring has had all his projects green lit and produced, but is he happier than me? Yes he is).
Anyway I love Andrew's writing and by all accounts this is a very funny book, making him a worthy successor to Douglas Adams (something I am in another Universe, but not the Universes where Douglas Adams didn't die) and you should definitely buy it. I didn't like the Midnight Library at all (I found it meaningless that the suicidal woman was shown the universes where things were made better by her, because if everything possible happens you could equally show her much worse stuff than she's experienced), but I think AHM will nail this concept. I don't think I will find out thought. For many reasons I am not going to read this one. Mainly just in case I do end up doing something with mine, but partly because it will be tough to see someone else take on this idea (and do it better than me).
I've had so many projects nearly make it and so many that I have fucked up, but this is the one that I think would have shown me at my best.
I did meet Andrew's editor tonight though, who was a fan of my work and encouraged me to write comedy novels and laughed out loud when I told him the idea behind The Cheddar Beheader, so you never know where that might lead.
I mean, I do, I am living in the Universe where most of my things come to nothing and it's no one's fault but this useless version of myself. Man alive though this me is waaaaay more successful than a whole infinity of mes who haven't got a single project off the ground. At least infinity of them are working at Marks and Spencers in Weston-Super-Mare after applying for a job there in their year off and then deciding not to take their place at University so they can rise up the management structure. Those idiots deserve everything they get.
No shade on working for M&S, but it was a poor decision for those young Richard Herrings. Infinity of them are still happier than me. But infinity of them are less happy. So it's swings and roundabouts.
Alternate universes is a bullshit idea.
We had a lovely time at the book launch and unsurprisingly Andrew's friends and the people working with him are all first rate. Not sure how I snuck into this, but I will take it.
I do think writing books is the way forward for me. Sadly I waste most of my day blogging and doing stupid shows with puppets (I can't imagine any of the other Richard Herrings are stupid enough to do that).
Speaking of which if you want to know what happens if you castrate a mouse, then you need
to watch today's Newsround. The only channel willing to tell the truth about this.
