7493/20422
No, not the Unabomber. Another part of my childhood gone.
My five year old boy has many catchphrases - “Banana!” And “Peanut Pot” are two popular ones, but he also likes to exclaim “Bloody Hell!” a lot, which whilst one of the milder swear words is not something you want shouted out in public. Other parents look at you like you are terrible at your job. And to be fair they are right.
So this morning I tried to move him over to something that sounds ruder, but isn’t. The old standard from Grange Hill, “Flippin’ heck, Tucker”. It’s a brilliant catchphrase, created by (presumably) Phil Redmond to make up for the fact that the pupils of Grange Hill were the only school kids in the country who didn’t say “fuck” every other word. It’s so mild, but substitutes for something so rude. It was an act of genius. Obviously it didn’t always have Tucker on the end in the show, only when someone was talking to the hero of the piece, Tucker Jenkins. But "Flippin’ heck, Tucker” was what it became for a generation of 1980s school children. Even though we could say “Fucking Hell”, we used it with a sweet degree of ironic innocence - the same way it was intended by its creator.
So to teach a kid in 2023 to say “Flippin’ Heck, Tucker” is another level of post-modernism. Ernie presumably thinks that Tucker is a swear word too (maybe the fact that it rhymed with one is what made it ubiquitous - we were nearly saying fucker. Maybe not, though “Flippin’ Heck, Fucker” would have been a terrific subversion of the whole thing), but certainly has no idea of its provenance or who Tucker is and is not likely to ever find out. Of course he has already managed to subvert the whole thing himself as later in they day as we walked through Waitrose car park he exclaimed “Bloody Hell, Tucker!” So my efforts to curb his enthusiasm for filth have failed. And someone not listening properly and unaware of 1980s kids TV might assume he is saying Fucker too.
Anyway, it’s a minor setback. Let’s bring back “Flippin’ Heck, Tucker” but never attempt to contextualise it. It might also mean that the epidemic of swearing in young people can be abated. It wasn’t like this in my day. We never swore. If you don’t believe me then check out the documentary that is Grange Hill.
