7523/20452
I'd had a dream where I was in a tiny submarine and though it wasn't very scary (there was a weird detail where there were two more subs and the only way to get out was by transferring to them whilst underwater) I woke up a bit freaked out and didn't want to go back to sleep again lest I was trapped on the sub again. No prizes for guessing where this came from.
So I was worried I'd get too tired for the shows or the drive home tonight, but luckily was lifted by two fantastic guests - Alistair Green and my old mucker Peter Baynham. He made me laugh til I cried with his idea for breakfast cereal and Alistair was also very funny and open talking about the time he played the (former) planet Pluto at school. The audience were terrific again, albeit turning up in the kind of numbers that made Al congratulate me for continuing with social distancing.
After everyone on Twitter had managed to work out who the terrible BBC nonce actually was (with a few wild theories flying around) and some claiming to have a disturbing photo, which was clearly fake but don't let that worry you, suddenly there was a potential twist as the "victim" came forward to claim nothing untoward had happened.
It's getting like you can't trust the Sun and a load of nonce-obsessed anonymous tweeters any more.
I proposed a heist idea where a wealthy celebrity could make a real killing by suing a major paper by hatching a plot with a teenager with over protective parents, leave out some clues, hope they'd contact the media making wild accusations and then sue the paper for printing them, before splitting a cool ten mil. I don't think that is what has happened. It's just my idea for a film/making a cool 5 mil.
The jury is out on the truth of course, but that's because the jury hasn't yet been called, because there's no case at all yet and nobody has been charged. Which is a shame for all those who immediately solved the possibly non-existent crime two days ago, albeit with the entirely wrong perpetrator.
Maybe we should go back to the old system where we waited to find out some facts and had the whole innocent until proven guilty or at least until a crime was proved. But that's nowhere near as much fun.
Fascinating times though. I am not claiming innocence in being whipped along by it and considering different candidates and then being sure one candidate was guilty and then suddenly not being sure anything had happened at all. What a weekend.
Good to see that everyone's main concern is the safety and health of the young person and not any campaign to take down the BBC or the Sun (see above) or any celebrity whose politics or sexuality or face you don't really like.
