Warming Up

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Of course the cough decided to burrow a little deeper and get a little less dry today. I will beat this thing if it kills me.

Time to break my silence on Stuart Cox. A lot of you have been asking what I think about him. Cox by name, Cox by nature? Stuart by name, Pooart by nature?

Stuart is, of course, the guy who has taken it upon himself to destroy the cairns, set up by (on the face of it) pure and noble stone-clearers in the Peak District. Surely a cut and dried example of a member of the Ftone Ftafi going about their evil work.

But wait, let he who is without sin kick the first stone. Stone Clearing is not a calling which involves lots of rules. The first rule of stone clearing is that there are no rules to stone clearing.

But the second rule of stone clearing is that stones must be cleared to the edge of the field from whence they were found (unless there's a telegraph pole or something in the middle of the field which looks like it might be fun to build around).

The people building the cairns in the Peak District are not clearing stones to the side of a field, they are building them wherever the fancy takes them. Also far from building walls that are visible from space around that perimeter, they are stealing stones from walls to make their cairns. It is they that are the stone stasi. And Stuart Cox has been falsely accused.

Though he is not a ftone clearer, just a ftone fcatterer, so he's pretty much as bad a ftone ftafi. By choosing not to clear the stones he is doing the work of the stone stasi. As are you if you are not out in the heat of the midday sun clearing stones. Just as not voting just helps the fascists get in, stone-based apathy helps the stone stasi. There are 8 billion people on this planet. If we all cleared 100 stones today that is 800 billion stones cleared. We could probably have cleared every stone in the world in a matter of weeks. It might still take a few years as depending how you classify a stone there are basically an infinite amount on the planet. And once all the ones on earth are cleared we have to try and get all the ones in space back into one place, like they were before the Big Bang wrecked everything.

In conclusion Stuart Cox would be a bigger Cox, but he's still a bit of a cox. And so are you.

Hope that clears up the issue.