4939/17859
Unsurprisingly took things a bit easy today in the hope of kicking my non-drinking illness. Catie and Phoebe were out all morning and I mainly sat on the sofa, watching TV and updating my gig guide to include all the confirmed dates for my new tour - Richard Herring: The Best.
Some of those are on sale already, but check with each venue and I will provide website links asap. Obviously it’s a best of show (though don’t know which bits will make it to the show yet), so it’s a good one to bring Herring newbies to, or (as I suspect is the case for most people) if you’ve only come to my live stuff more recently. Or you just want to relive the great routines of old. I mean it should be pretty good. I must have an adequate 90 minutes from the 20 hours of material I’ve done.
In the afternoon my daughter was back, full of bluster and new noises and looking ever more like a little girl. She’s perfected a new sound in her throat that sounds a lot like she’s choking, which makes life fun. As tired as I was and as hard as it was to keep up with her level of energy it was lots of fun being with her. My favourite thing is when she sits next to me and lays her head on me, but she’s not really one for sitting still at the moment. We’re flying to America in August. That’s going to be a challenge. I apologise in advance to our fellow passengers.
The afternoon wiled slowly away as I wondered if I’d be able to stay awake and fulfil my fatherly duties. I managed to half watch the football as I fed and bathed her and was delighted to see Wales doing well. They’re like a non-violent, pleasant England who can be proud of themselves without looking like nob-ends. And my grandma was Welsh, so you know this was my victory. It’s like Leicester all over again.
By the evening, once Phoebe had finally gone to sleep and stopped making choking noises for fun I watched England play. I didn’t feel massively invested to start with, but they pulled me in. As much as I’d love Wales to do well, my dormant nationalist side awoke and i realised that I still want England to win, even though everyone who lives here is a violent hooligan. Admittedly I am judging my entire nation by a handful of fucking pricks, but that’s the English way and that’s why I also think all Muslims are terrorists.
England were good at football which was disconcerting and looked like they’d win the first match in an international tournament, which left me afraid. We just don’t do that. Luckily England didn’t let down the negative expectations of their horrific countrymen and conceded in the dying seconds of the game. Which was disappointing for sure, but football is a fucking stupid game and you can be winning for 90 minutes and then just have a bad bit of luck for one minute and end up drawing or losing. The whole scoring system is fucked and turns the sport into a lottery. I can’t believe people get behind this.
But as much as English people love to have their negative predictions proven correct and thus this result was pleasing to us all, if the luck goes our way in the other lottery games I think we’re in with a decent shot of doing well. I also think we might win the European coin tossing competition. Just need things to go our way. It’s the fucking same.
