Tuesday 14th April 2026

8537/21456
So the first night of the play is four days away, so this week involves a lot of rehearsal and last minute line learning. When I first picked up the book I seriously doubted that I would be able to cram all of my part into my decaying brain, but the signs are that we might just about be word adequate by Saturday. There's no place to hide in this play. I only have two exits in the 100 minutes we're on stage and then I immediately come back on again for the next scene. Anna certainly has a harder job with more lines than me, but she does get a couple of moments to change/consult a script off stage.
The mistakes are being ironed out and the weird tangents in the script largely being conquered. Though today, in scene one, I managed to leap over the bit where Rita reveals that she is called Rita and why she is called Rita, without which most of the rest of the play will be at best, mildly confusing.  Would we be able to reinsert the bit if we did that on the night? Maybe we could loop back and pick it up.
Luckily I think having done it today, I will be very unlikely to make the same mistake again. Though I would be very surprised if we don't make the odd catastrophic error. Did I really used to find learning lines a breeze or have I just forgotten? I did Waiting For Godot at college and that is a lot more repetitive and easy to screw up, though the only major mistake I made in that one was leaving my bowler hat backstage during the interval on one occasion. We managed to bluff our way through the hat exchange scene with one hat somehow.
Anyway the stakes are pretty low and I think our small audiences will be forgiving of any mistakes. Though today was the first time that I thought, in spite of my frustration about certain lines refusing to stick, that we might do this. Because some bits, that last week I thought were impossible and I'd never properly get, were coming out fine.
The set is getting better all the time, more props are arriving and I am drinking a lot of cold tea which is very effectively playing the part of whisky. In fact the danger is that the cold tea will make me wee myself during the show, but to be fair, that would be fairly in character.
Whisky is the alcoholic drink that I most miss, but also, I think, the alcoholic drink that was responsible for the night terrors that convinced me to stop drinking. So I don't envy Frank his drinking, especially as unbeknownst to him, he is literally tea-total (I know that's not why teetotal is called that, but I might once have believed that it was - what about the other non-alcoholic drinks?). In fact the play is a very good advert for not drinking. I can't get over what a sad story it is for Frank, who without giving too much away, doesn't get a very happy ending. Even if for one second you might think he's getting a happy ending.
Willy Russell is a genius. It's a terrific piece of work.
Did somebody say willy rustle?

An apology to President Trump for my gross misunderstanding of his social media message yesterday. Please don't sue me, oh miraculous lord of the dance settee and medical expert.





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