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After a pretty full on month, I took today off - or at least kept work to a minimum. I started reading Brian Bilston's "How To Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside" - which is his alternative guide to writing and enjoying poetry. He's a very funny writer, but also quite inspiring.
After that I had been briefly inspired to write a four line poem every day as part of Warming Up. I did it for about a week before probably deciding I was putting out enough free stuff and didn't need yet another daily thing to keep me away from doing actual work. Maybe I felt self-conscious about attempting poetry (though I did at least try to make them mainly funny).
But it was a cool discipline and (like the blog) it didn't really matter if it was shit. And (unlike the blog) I didn't have to do it every day. If I had done it every day then I would already have hundreds of the things.
As it was I did seven, but looking back on them from a distance, they are OK.
The first one was written about the connection I felt with Lemn, who was born a few weeks before me, and who had a very different life, but who still felt like a kindred spirit
1
Born weeks apart but worlds apart
Little boys who loved to laugh
Same smile, same guile, same faith, same heart
Same destination, different path.
The rest mainly came out of thoughts or incidents from the day of writing and don't all make total sense out of context, but I like them more for that.
2
My life is just a memory:
Half-truths, lies - exaggeration
Blurred, fucked up ... ephemory
Am I a figment of my own imagination?
3
Shredding my past like a falling dictator
Shedding my skin like a peeled green potater
Assuming I will just burn this stuff later
Consuming the life of the younger me. Traitor!
4
So desperate for bacon this morning
I ate it straight out of the pack
Which should come with some kind of warning
Of parasitical cerebral attack.
5
An Eternal wee echoing through thin walls
Beautiful harmony accompanying crude splash and plops
A young me uncomfortably, yet gleefully listening
Nowhere near the worst thing to happen on Top of the Pops.
6
To bee or not to bee
That is the beekeeping question
But you have to be in order to bee
So not to not be/bee is my suggestion
7
The quatrain has left the station
The poet tree has shed its leaves
No more verbal masturbation
My pen is down, a nation grieves.
As I discovered on the Pottery show, creativity for its own sake can be very rewarding, even if what you're making is a bit rickety and shit. So I thought I might have another go at trying to do an (almost) daily poem. If inspiration strikes. And that might be a nice extra for the kind people who pay me money to write this blog on Substack. I don't want to charge for the blog, but it seems unfair that those who pay don't get a little bit extra. And you're only missing a shitty poem if you can't/won't pay. In any case I'll give you this first hit for free.
I had been thinking how weird the phrase skeleton in the cupboard is (or closet if you are American). And ended up having multiple goes around that.
8
Don't put your skellingtons in the cupboard
It's the first place the police will examine.
Unless you're old Mother Hubbard
Then the bones will prevent canine famine.
(and also the dog will consume and dispose of the evidence)
I did one for Americans and people who might not understand why I spell skellington that way
9
Don't put your skeletons in the closet
It's the first place the cops will head
Instead get out your pestle and mortar
And grind those bones to make chalky bread.
(but do Americans have pestles and mortars and giants at the top of beanstalks?)
10
Who puts skellingtons in a cupboard?
That's where you put your crockery
Now your cups and your plates won't fit in the space
Do without this adhockery mockery.
It turned out the school were being over cautious about Ernie's possible chicken pox. He'd had it already so I thought it was unlikely. A kid had it in the class two weeks ago and Ernie had some itchiness and a rash today. I took him to the pharmacist who was not convinced but sold me some Piriton. I am just grateful that he doesn't have to take two weeks off school!
