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As you might imagine thanks to my recent comments on having sex with robots not counting as cheating (we have to make this the case) I was somewhat inundated with links like this one today.
None of them touch on the issue of whether robot sex counts as infidelity (it doesn't - it's important we reiterate that at every opportunity), but a world where robot sex is available will throw up some interesting questions. Futurama, predictably, has covered this quite succinctly already. Would the availability of robot sex mean that humans stopped having sex with each other? I am not convinced it would, any more than pornography would. Because although the sexual release that comes from masturbation in any of its form,( from manual, through vibrator/pocket vagina, insertion in toasters, using a blow up doll, right up to making sweet love with a realistic android) is enjoyable and should be part of the buffet that is human sexuality, a bigger part of the sexy smorgasbord is surely the intimacy of sharing sexual pleasure with another person (who you might even love, or like enough to think about their needs). Even if you're shallower than that (and I know I am) then robot sex with a programmable android removes the pleasure of the subtle ballet of seduction. Convincing another human being to do the disgusting things that you will do in bed is one of the greatest miracles known to man and womankind. We'd still want that surely. Even if we had the back up plan of a robot in a box at home who could help us overcome the pain if we struck out.
It might get weird if we have robots, like the one in Futurama, that can be programmed to look exactly like anyone we want. What rights would we have over our own body being used in this way? And realistically would you be able to stop yourself being pirated? Both in terms of having your image stolen and it then being turned into a sexy pirate.
I am pretty certain that my body will be pretty safe in this brave new world. It would be weird and awful to think that someone we hated or didn't know was essentially performing degrading sex acts upon us without our knowledge. But robots are just an extension of imagination and the truth is that as much as we might not like to think about it, that is essentially happening already. You have no control over what someone else fantasises about doing with you, as dirty britcom confessions has shown me in terrifying detail. If you were so inclined there might be money to be made by hiring out the rights to your body image, in a metaphysical though not actual prostitution. Though how easy would it be to copyright your own image and wouldn't people get round it by hiring out a Charley Boorman sexbot and then squinting a bit?
Would such behaviour curb or encourage sex criminals - someone sent me an article which put a question that I had wondered about - might sexbots be used by paedophiles? And what about the kind of horrific trolls who threaten rape and violence on social media, would it give them a new weapon? To be able to send videos out on to the internet of their fantasies or carrying out their threats. I thought there might be a chilling episode of Black Mirror in this idea.
It's a complex subject, but I can not see a world where, if the technology exists, that these things (or something like them involving holograms or dreamatoriums) won't happen. Whether the human race stops sexually interacting or breeding is another issue. I think most of us, whilst seeing the recreational fun of self-pleasure or having sex with a robot that looks exactly like the actor Gemma Chan, will ultimately want human company.
I recorded the last two episodes of the 12 shows podcast, with a little help from Phoebe. Here's the Lord of the Dance Settee post-match analysis.
And on Friday we'll be releasing the final episode which includes the whole 40 minute set I did in the first half of the Happy Now? show. You can hear the complete first ten shows for just £12.
15 hours of stand up.
