What I like about Talking Cock is that instead of hecklers, I tend to get people asking questions in the middle of the show.
Tonight, after I'd listed the places where men had put their penises for fun and was about to deliver the punch-line to my favourite joke in the show (the one about the abyss. It often doesn't get a laugh at all, but I think it's brilliant. When I wrote it I was so proud, I had to run downstairs to tell my director), a woman chipped in, in a crisp voice, "Did anyone say they had put it in the ground?"
Slightly annoyed at having had my favourite joke spoilt I answered that I didn't think they had, but was sure that that had happened. As Lenny Bruce said "Men will fuck mud".
She then started asking about moss and ferns or something. I am always conscious that the show is a bit too long, so don't want to get into digressions or I'll bugger things up for the start of the next show. So I moved swiftly on.
But in hindsight I wish I'd asked her why she was so interested. It was clear from the piece in the show that men will put their penis into anything that could possibly accomodate it (as well as in many things that couldn't possibly accommodate it). So why was she so obsessed with men wanting to make love to the moss covered earth?
And why did she feel the need to share the question with the group?
It's good that the show makes people curious, and that they can't keep their questions to themselves. But sometimes you have to wonder what's going on in their heads.
My favourite audience comment of this run was from a woman who suggested that the man who had sex with a hollowed out cucumber was doing it for vegetarian reasons.
Again that raises more questions than it answers. I'll leave you to work them out for yourself.
