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I think that Victoria Coren might be in love with me, as I was an answer on Only Connect for the second time in a month. This level of fame is going to make some real differences to my life. I don't think I'll be able to walk down the street without being bothered by impressed people. I didn't sign up for this.
I was excited to see which celebrity was going to get taken down by the BBC Panorama programme that's been shrouded in secrecy for a week. It seemed a bit weird that the BBC had information about a potential crime but were keeping it under wraps, given the alleged perps a chance to enjoy four or five more days of immorality before finally being brought to book. But it'd be worth that for the big reveal of which beloved celebrity was actually a horrible human being (I don't know how they manage to choose just one when there are so many candidates, but again, I am glad they stretch this stuff out rather than just doing one big list as it keeps up the entertainment value).
So imagine my disappointment when the programme wasn't even about a celebrity, just some rich dude who worked in clothing. Admittedly he sounded like a bad person, but you can't walk down the street without passing someone bad. I want famous bad people, not nobodies. And if it's a nobody, don't build it up like it's going to be a big reveal.
I think they should just say they're going to do a programme about celebrities who have never done anything morally questionable and then invite all the famous people with clean records to apply to appear on it. They will of course be subjected to rigorous investigation to prove their innocence is genuine. People would be queuing up to absolve themselves of guilt. And we could assume anyone who didn't was a wrong un. Make it so Panorama.
Back home this morning and then waiting in for a plumber to fix our toilet. He eventually turned up at about 5pm (of course). His company had fixed my cistern three months ago and charged me for two visits and the expensive parts so I was expecting to get this repair for free. But naturally it turned out it was a part of the cistern that they hadn't replaced that had gone wrong this time. This toilet has been the cause of five visits since May (the Saniflo engineer came twice as well) and will take at least one more as they didn't have the right parts to fix it. I don't even really use this loo, so am delighted its turned out to be something that I can flush money down instead.
