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Sunday 20th November 2011

Hey! Why did no one point out to me that today was 20/11/2011? I missed the whole thing. Imagine what fun I could have had. And I didn't have the fun. And you can't get that fun back. I am never going to be in a position where I can have that kind of fun again. You know about from 20/12/2012. But after that nothing. And not must because the world ends that week.
Make sure you remind me next year, you selfish 20/11/2011 celebrating twats.
I might become a calendar maker and see if I can institute a 13th month so we get one more shot at it. But that's all we can do. No one would countenance 14 months. Though technically we could keep doing it up to 18 months, but any more than that and the months would have less than 20 days, so if you wanted to carry on through the century you'd have to make the year longer than it is now. And I don't think anyone would seriously suggest altering the speed or orbit of the earth just so people can celebrate a numerical coincidence every year of their lives.
What are you? Nuts?
Honestly, some people.

I had a lovely, lazy day for the first time in a while. I slept and then stayed in bed watching "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" on DVD - it's a flawed and slightly mawkish serial, but still very enjoyable. As a writer it's fun to try and work out why it doesn't quite work, even though it's engaging and dramatic. Its ultimate downfall is that the new producers are meant to be comedy genii but their sketches are nearly all utter crap. And maybe it's a bit patronising in its attempts not to patronise middle America. And all the characters are, despite their flaws, too nice and reasonable, in a way that say, the stars of "30 Rock" just aren't. But it's still a shame it only got one series and I am glad I am giving it another go. It makes me want to watch the West Wing again too (which I got most of the way through a few years ago, before being annoyed by the plot about the President's daughter being kidnapped and giving up).
Even though Studio 60 is not perfect and something about it grates with me, it's still astonishingly well written and acted and I wish there was more of it. It's also tough to watch something like this when I am writing a comedy drama of my own and realising that even Sorkin's less successful stuff is leagues above me at my best.
We went out to a restaurant tonight and there was a loud talker at a table right on the other side of the room. I could hear every word she was saying more clearly than I could hear my (admittedly quiet) girlfriend opposite me. I have a feeling that I have been (and maybe still am) a loud talker too, but it's a weird phenomenon to witness. It wasn't because she was in any way hearing impaired or anything, maybe shyness impaired, just that everything she said, she felt (I am guessing) was of such import that it needed to be boomed out so everyone could hear it. Alas she was wrong. The things she was saying were self-regarding and annoying. The interesting people never talk this loud. They know to keep their interesting opinions and stories secret. Yet if I'd shouted at her, "Oh shut the fuck up, no one is interested in you" it would be me who was the rude one! You just can't win.
She was young and opinionated and confident and no doubt life will knock those things out of her. Speaking from personal experience I would say that the loud talker is probably quite an insecure person underneath it all. Though I have an outlet to do my loud talking on stage and on the radio (where I am often informed by angry listeners that I shout all the time), so maybe that's why I am less of a loud talker in real life than I once was. Or maybe I still am and just don't know.
Maybe telling a loud talker that they are a loud talker is in fact a kindness. Let's all give it a go the next time we encounter it.

Talking of my loud talking radio show thanks so much for all the positive response that there's been to this week's Objective. Aside from On The Hour I can't remember a radio show getting so much disopprobrium. A clip with the brilliant Francesca Martinez made it on to Pick of the Week and it's also the BBC Comedy Podcast of the Week. I would have loved the whole series to go out as a podcast and that might seem like a sensible thing to have done given my internet presence, but no one can accuse the BBC of being sensible. And that's why I love them and hope they will keep letting me do my stupid shows in some capacity.

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