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Would I like to live the life where I had a villa by the sea in a hot country and was served breakfast overlooking the waves every morning with at least one of the staff looking exactly like an Asterix cartoon of the nation I was in? Sofia, I'm looking at you.
I would at least like to do that for breakfast. Though that's not really practical. Sitting by a pool all day, just reading books and tossing off the occasional 1000 word blog/article... I think I can probably afford to do it til the end of August, but after that they might stop bringing me breakfast and not let me sleep in their beds.
I have foolishly left it too late to retire at 58 like my mum did, but if i can survive another 10 or so years and put a bit more in my pension, would that be a good life? I know it would make for boring blogs. I am sorry you have to endure this 10 day period of nothingness, but I am quite sorry that you have to endure any of my life. Oh wait, I've just been that reading this blog is not mandatory by law (yet) and you can choose not to read it if you wish. I notice that a huge proportion of humanity had knowingly or unknowingly taken that course of action and we should all envy them.
Today's book was
One Minute Away by Mark Watson, which I almost finished in the day (about 50 pages to read tomorrow - I hope there will be an alien invasion at the end, though it's unlikely, but it would be a bold move.
We sat by the pool again, having nabbed our place before breakfast (and in stereotypical holiday fashion, if you don't get a towel down on a lounger before 9am then you're screwed my friend, even though there are notices saying your stuff will be removed if you leave the loungers empty for 20 minutes. Spoiler alert- they won't be. They definitely should be. It's a ridiculous and selfish system and I hate the idea of Jenni Falconer sleeping in and missing out. If it is her. If it isn't, then it doesn't matter. But no celebrity should be treated this badly.
We had a nice spot by the supposedly quieter adults only pool (another rule that remains unenforced - they just like to say stuff here and then not follow through). Everything was very relaxing apart from at one point an older Italian man got up from his own lounger to have a loud phone conversation, which I assume was about work or business of some kind. He was really bellowing into his phone. And for some reason, rather than finding a corner where there was no one around or even just staying on his own lounger, he decided to stand directly behind us and take shade under our umbrella. It was breathtakingly selfish of him. Here I was trying to read Mark Watson's moving account of a Croatian Deliveroo driver finding love with a wealthy client (and then being killed by aliens? We'll see) and a man was shouting almost in my ear. I sat up and turned round to look at him, but he had no shame. After maybe 90 seconds, very much against character, I said "Excuse me, can you go somewhere else please?" I didn't attempt the Italian but my meaning was pretty clear, what with him invading my space in almost every way aside from putting his raggedly old-man cock on my shoulder. Surprisingly for a man of this arrogance he made a half-hearted apology and moved on.
Apart from that nothing to report. It's very nice to be doing fuck all. If I didn't have kids I might take this up professionally.
