8273/21192
I don't know what it says about my self-image or understanding of my position in the showbiz pyramid, but I was quite suspicious that my invite to the Jameela Jamil podcast was some kind of scam or prank.
I do get loads of junk emails from people asking me to appear on the podcasts of famous US podcasters (usually) offering me about $3000 dollars. It's a weird con and I don't fully understand it, as they must know that I am a podcaster in order to make the offer, but it's hard to see what they have to gain from this. The mistake they make is to offer any kind of fee, but certainly such an exorbitant one.
This offer had come via the email of an exec producer that I know, though he then handed over to the series producer who seemed a little bit sketchy. The time and location of the podcast record kept changing (even right down to the last minute - the exec producer had told me that it was at Soho House (which seemed like a safe location if I was about to be kidnapped) but 15 minutes before the record I got a text saying that the location was actually a bit up the road from there. Nothing dodgy has ever happened in Soho though, so I should be OK.
They didn't offer me $3000 though, so it had to be real.
Finding out that the other guest was Simon Pegg also made me a bit sus. Why had they asked me if they were getting people like him? Was this just an attempt to make me feel this was legit? Should I have run this past my management? Why hadn't I done that? They might have got me a fee. And I usually would. By the time I thought about it it was 6pm on Friday, so it was too late to get them to check.
I am pretty good at spotting those junk podcast offers - had I been taken in by a scam and was I about to be bummed in a basement? If they'd just asked I might have gone with that.
The email from the producer I knew was different than the one I had for him and that was on his website. Was I being paranoid to be suspicious or was I being stupid to be so trusting. The fact it was at Soho House made me think the worst that would happen was I'd get to reception to be told that there was no record there. I would have been Punk'd but I'd be safe.
But then the address changed at the last minute. Alarm bells!
Of course, unless it's a very deep con with some excellent lookalikes (or Jameela and Simon are in on this - surely they have enough money), it turned out to be legit (and very enjoyable). The thing that really made me feel like this might be bogus was the fact that they'd asked me. And I didn't feel I was likely to be on their wish list (Jameela did say that nearly everyone they had tried was on holiday in Greece this week, so maybe that was why they'd had to head to the J-list of celebs (who am I kidding? I wish I was on the J-list).
Is being a successful celebrity actually all about making people believe you are. Through confidence and self-belief. I must have some self-belief somewhere because I keep doing stuff and charging people for it. But when I was dating I wondered why any woman would be interested in me, given all the other options available -maybe all the other men were on holiday in Greece. I suppose my appeal might have been the One Direction manoeuvre. Not knowing I was beautiful was what made me beautiful. And One Direction didn't ruin it for me by telling me that that was what made me beautiful, thus allowing me to know I was beautiful and thus not being beautiful any more. And so on to infinity.
Also when I get invited on something cool (not often admittedly) I feel like some kind of error must have been made. I think I am OK and reasonably funny. Surely though there are funnier and better known people who could do it.
As I've said before it's not imposter syndrome when you are an actual imposter.
It's not false modesty. I know I have limited appeal. Appeal to enough people to make a viable career. There's just people with more appeal. And that's what made me go to the record. Because if you were going to kidnap someone or make them your sex slave, you'd go for someone better than Richard Herring. Who you'd also suspect might be into it a little bit, thus spoiling the whole thing.
If I am not good enough to be on Jameela Jamil's podcast then I am definitely not good enough to organise an elaborate plot/prank for.
Would I have been more successful if I was blinded by self-belief? Or is my low status insecurity that is the secret of my mediocre but constant work over the last 35 years? All the other people are fooling you into thinking they are confident whilst going home to cry, whilst I have fooled you into thinking I have low self-esteem when I am sociopathic narcissist.
Anyway, hope I've shown you how easy it would be to kidnap a J-list celebrity. But also how annoying it would be to be stuck in a cellar with them and how no one would pay the ransom.
