5143/18063
Yeah Home Alone won. You fucking idiots. What have you done?
Last year my daughter had little idea of what was going on with Christmas, but this year, if you look at her little face, it’s almost as if she understands. That a man was going to come down the chimney and give her presents. What’s wrong with children? Idiots.
Of course it’s really good fun to be on the other side of the subterfuge that totally took me in for the first 28 years of my life. Though new traditions are forged by the attempt to give a nod to both families’ Yuletide traditions. And more ancient Christmas memories came back. I remembered coming down to the lounge and discovering the fort that my dad had built me for my cowboys and indians. I was 28 years old. Oh I’ve already made the joke. Would Phoebe have memories of the Ikea kids kitchen unit that had been painstakingly assembled by Santa’s elves. Who were quite pissed. And watching Die Hard. The rightful winner of the World Cup of Christmas films. No I won’t get over it.
I risked making it a tragic Christmas for everyone else, but a very quiet one for me, by going for a half hour run with my wife. She suggested it, so suspect she is trying to kill me for the insurance money, as I am not really fit enough to do this right now. But the joke’s on her because a) I didn’t die and b) I got slightly fitter and thus increased the amount of time she is forced to stay with me. Til Death us do part, that’s what you agreed. And I am going nowhere. Ha ha ha. Hey thanks for making me a nice drink. Smells a bit almondy. Delicious.
I was pretty amazed that I managed to keep running for half an hour and took in some pretty steep hills. As always I am going to attempt to sort myself out and lose the weight that I’ve gained since the last time I lost weight. Running is my best bet, but my old joints might have something to say about that. My and;e twinged a bit, but I ran through the pain. The Hertfordshire countryside (we’re at the in-laws, we haven’t got anywhere to move to yet) looked beautiful and it was a cool and crisp morning. I mainly enjoyed it and felt better afterwards, though pretty wiped out. I undid all the good with beer and Celebrations and also necking Santa’s whisky (he will never know that it had been there), but it was good to push myself. It’d be great if running becomes as easy and as much fun as it was two and a half years ago. Or I can just accept I am pretty much in my 50s now and I am going to be a fat and jolly old man (or dead man).
Worth another go. Luckily I don't have a painstaking account of the last quarter of my life which demonstrates that dieting and exercise are a fool's errand and that I always put the weight back on. Even if that was true, I am definitely going to do it this time. So will make sure I eat and drink way too much now to ensure the starting weight is even greater so the loss more impressive.
Looking forward to the morning. Christmas is magical again with a tiny idiot in tow.
Have a good Christmas everyone.
