Since writing about ghosts the electrical equipment in my house has started to go haywire. My desktop computer has taken to suddenly switching itself off after it's been on for five minutes. It's not like a virus thing (I don't think); there's no warning and it's as if there's been a power cut (except no other equipment is affected). On its own I would think this was some internal fuse overheating or something.
But at about 5 o clock this morning I was woken by what I thought was my (extremely loud) doorbell. This itself has been playing up quite badly of late and rarely works, but I thought I caught a short blast of it. But when the doorbell goes off, the video aspect of my entry phone usually stutters to life so you can see who is at the door. There was no picture on the video, so I decided I must just have been dreaming about my door-bell going off. After all, who would ring it at 5am? I picked up the phone to check, saying "Hello, is anyone there?" but no-one responded.
But as tried to get back to sleep the door-bell rang again, very clearly and very loudly. I dashed to the phone and spookily the video had now activated, from which I concluded that the bell must have actually rung. But there was no-one there. Again I spoke into the phone, but there was no reply. I went downstairs and looked out the curtains, but the street was empty as you'd expect at this time of day. Had the ghosts of the world, angered that I dare mock their enemy Joanna Lumley for believing in them, taken it upon themselves to round on me? To teach me a lesson about why you should never be sarcastic to a ghost (even an insect ghost)? Admittedly it wasn't as scary a lesson as you might expect from the ghost community. Maliciously ringing a doorbell is something you'd expect from a child. A ghost could appear in front of you waving chains and shower you with ectoplasm. So I had to conclude that it was just a warning shot. The ghosts were saying, "Stop taking the piss, or you can expect worse stuff than the malfunctioning of electrical items."
I have to tell you I was a little bit freaked out. I was actually more concerned that the thing that was responsible for the doorbell ringing might not be a ghost, but perhaps a living person. Maybe someone with a baseball bat about to make good their long-time threat to break my fucking legs. The cockiness that fuels my disparaging warming up entries was far from me at this early time. I lay awake for about an hour, dreading the sound of my door-bell, jumping out of my skin every time I heard footsteps passing the house.
It's only in the cold light of day that I can come up with a rational explanation. I remember that I have often woken up in the past thinking the doorbell has rung, but each time it has been a dream - this usually occurs when I'm awaiting an early morning taxi or delivery of some kind (currently expecting package of DVDs from Amazon). Yet on none of these occasions has the video screen of my entryphone flickered into life. But now I realise that it's possible that the first phantom ring was responsible for this. I had gone to the phone, bleary from being awoken and picked up the phone to speak to the non-existant visitor. Picking up the phone activates the video screen, which stays on for maybe a minute. I'd not remembered this and gone back to bed and immediately fallen asleep, only for my overactive imagination to immediately wake me with another false bell ringing. I assumed minutes had passed, but in fact it was only a few seconds. So when I rushed to the phone I was greeted by the image of nothing which had in fact come up because of me picking up the phone seconds before.
Yes, that must be it. Phew thank goodness. I am safe from the attention of ghoulies. Aren't I?
But if the computer goes off before I finish this sentence then I'll know that
