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Living away from a big town has meant that the Scope collection money has been stacking up a bit. I had almost an entire bucket full from this year’s gigs and thought maybe it was time to pay that in when I could barely lift the bucket.
I somehow managed to transport the coins to the bank where I fed it into the coin salad spinner and found out there as pretty much £1450 in there (plus some foreign coins, a lucky shamrock thing and a token for an arcade fruit machine). The lady who took the slip from me was pretty amazed. “I hope you’re going to treat yourself to a nice holiday,” she said. “Sadly, it’s all going to charity,” I replied, “Well, you know, not sadly….” It’s a shame I can’t keep it. Carrying that many coins almost injured me, so would anyone really object if I just kept it? Only someone very mean spirited or who was a bit of a stickler for upholding the law. Maybe I will just keep this lot. I’ve done a lot for Scope and Scope have done very little for me (except give me a sense of purpose and enriched my life, but you know, I mean stuff that you can hold or quantify or spend on luxury goods). It’s time for little Richy to get his.
Of course not. I have been known to commit crimes in my time, but I am scrupulously honest (and even confess to all my misdemeanours). Every penny is accounted for and it’s all going to a great charity.
It’s just good to know how much money is in a bucket of coins. That figure does not include the notes. I much prefer it if you give notes. They’re so much easier to transport.
I prefer the kind of charity where I don’t have to carry stuff and can just sit on my arse and tweet things and hope people want to pay for my persistence. So Refuge is much better for me. We’ve already hit the initial target I set for it and it’s not even March yet. So God knows what will happen when I am tweeting all through March 8th. But the only way is up.
I’ve reset the target to £25,000. I am secretly hoping we can make loads more than that though. It costs about £52 a night to provide refuge to one woman and her kids. So let’s make every stupid tweet by idiots and my stupid tweets in response do some good. I never realised comedy could make money before.
I was feeling tired, ill and a little bit blue today, but not for too long. When my daughter came home from school she saw me and shouted “Daddy” and ran towards me for a hug, like in a TV show about a family where everything is nice. She is not usually so effusive, though I know she likes to toy with my heart like a cat with a heart. She even requested that I come up to read her stories and we giggled and played and cuddled. I mean, it’s like she knew I needed one day of love. I am sure it is all I will get. It makes me happy and sad though, because all of this passes so fast and ,though I know I will remember this particular night time until my brain stops remembering, will she? I hope there are enough days and nights like this so she has enough of an overall picture to remember us laughing and having fun. I am about to go away for a few nights and my mind always plays out the worst possible scenarios and it’s a shame I can’t simply enjoy this stuff for what it is. I mean, I do as well. Nothing could make me happier than having to pretend to fall asleep so Phoebe can shout and wake me up, twenty times in a row. Because every time is just as funny to her. And as much as I would love to sleep, I too didn’t want it to end. Lying beside her with her head on my shoulder, both laughing. Nothing could top that.
But even if nothing bad happens, soon enough we won’t do this kind of thing any more. I already miss it as it’s happening. So I am at my happiest, but filled with sadness.
It’s ace.
And pushed the tiredness and illness to one side to trudge up the hill to one of our new neighbours for a cheese and wine night. It’s taken me til I am 50 to grow up, but boy, am I doing it now. I got a bit wrecked with my lovely wife and tried not to worry about the fact that I was looking after the baby tonight and would never catch up on my sleep. But you know what they say, a load of tiny glasses of wine and some cheese is as good as a rest. I was the only person to knock a glass of wine over and on to the floor. I’ve still got it.
