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Thursday 28th July 2022

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I think Tory MP Caroline Nokes looks a bit like my wife. If anyone needs Charley Boorman and Caroline Nokes lookalikes for their party (only bookable together) then please get in touch. Though I think we might charge more than the actual Boorman and Nokes would.

Nothing wrong with the tyre apparently. The Tyre Gods are really fucking with me. Or someone is letting the air out to mess with me. I don’t know if it was more annoying to have a faulty tyre or drive to Kwik Fit to find that I didn’t. I have maybe become paranoid about this. Just as I am paranoid about my own popped tyre (testicle).

The other day I’d tried to use my nectar card points to pay for something. I was a bit confused as to why it said I needed 500 points when I thought I had 525, but I let it go. Today I bought some petrol from Sainsbury’s and it seemed to have taken about 50 points off as I now had somewhere around 475. But when I looked properly I found I had -475 points. How the Hell did I owe Sainsbury’s nectar points? I hadn’t been very loyal. I had barely used the card recently, but surely they don’t punish you for disloyalty?
Someone had suggested that I might have had my details stolen and then the thief had used my points quickly  at the same time. Seemed like a lot of effort to go to to gain literally tens of pence.
I @ed nectar into the tweet and they asked me to DM them so they could look into it. They said "It looks like the account has gone into a negative, as your account went into dormancy, due to 12 months of no activity with your card. I have returned 1337 points that were in your account at the time, that should now reflect on your balance.”
That didn’t really make sense. You could freeze the points or return them to zero, but why take them away plus a few more? I asked and got a fudged answer about outstanding redemptions coming off at the time. But that didn’t happen. I hardly used the thing and had 1337 beautiful points and Ian Nectar decided to take them off me, plus another 500 or so for fun. But at least I have 1337 points now. The Soleros are on me.
I liked the idea of being in debt to Nectar though and bailiffs coming to get points off me.

Watched the latest episode of The Orville tonight and I realise that against all expectations this is now one of my favourite shows. I am slightly annoyed by how these 25th Century people are so obsessed with the culture of the 20th and 21st Century - it’s like us listening to music from the 17th Century all the time (which I guess a few people do), but in this week’s episode it meant we were treated to a Simon and Garfunkel song that I had forgotten about, but also completely remembered. Paul Simon was one of the only musicians that I really got into and I had all his albums and listened to almost nothing else (apart from Ice T) so it was weird that the song “Flowers Never Bend in the Rainfall” had slipped out of my memory. And yet weirder still that even though I had forgotten it, I still knew all the lyrics. It’s a real ear worm and has been bouncing around my head ever since. And like Paul Simon I continue to continue to pretend that my life will never end. After all I must be what I must be.
It’s Simon and Garfunkel at their most youthfully pompous, but I still like it. And it’s even better in space (actually they sing it on Earth in the Orville, but it’s a nice version). And oh, the dramatic irony.
It's weird when a song from your past emerges out of nowhere and haunts you. It made me feel happy and sad at the same time. Getting old sucks ball.


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