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I thought my career was over. But I am back in the big time baby. The website Chortle featured me in TWO stories on its front page - my appearance in Educating Rita and the breaking news that I am in the new series of The Great British Bake Off- Stand Up To Cancer.
My career is BACK ON. Let's ignore for a second that my acting role is unpaid and in a theatre that seats about 70 people and that I didn't get paid to do Bake Off. It's ALL HAPPENING.
And if you think my appearance in a play in Hitchin is NOT BIG NEWS then think again. According to Chortle it's bigger news than the death of Catherine O' Hara, who they haven't even mentioned (beyond a link to a paywalled article in the Rolling Stone). And she was one of the greatest comedy performers of all time and beloved by everyone in the industry. No need to mention that Chortle! But Richard Herring playing a disillusioned alcoholic (which whatever anyone tells you is a huge stretch from me - usually I just play perverts and people paying money to sex workers) is IMPORTANT.
I have been sitting on the Bake Off appearance since May and as it was only two days filming it was easy enough to not really allude to it in blogs. I wrote one about
Dennis Waterman and one about
a childhood Christmas (I think I've written about that a few times). This was not the still secret job that I did in November, which was a lot more hefty (and which is further proof that I am BACK and that the allegations were NEVER PROVEN).
I did tell my mum about it, but only over Christmas. I hope I haven't broken my contract by doing that. We also have a bake off rolling pin (that I was gifted,. I didn't steal it) so I've had to keep that hidden.
It was a crazy couple of days, and I still can't say too much about it. I was competing with Jojo Siwa, Molly Mae Hague and comedian Babatúndé Aléshé. I had never heard of the first two of those people at the time, and I have a sneaking suspicion they might not have heard of me either, even though I was surely the star booking here. With my huge puppet show audience.
Is there a possibility that I am out of touch? Does this mean that the people who say they no longer recognise any of the so-called celebrities on I'm a Celebrity etc are actually just perpetrating a huge self own?
Jojo Siwa and Richard Herring is the crossover that no one could have predicted or wanted, but we got on pretty well. We haven't really been in touch since, but she's very busy. She's down to earth and as we prepared to do one of the many walks to the tent that you have to film for this show, she kindly picked chewing gum or some kind of gunk off of Molly Mae's boot. Not many international stars would do something like that.
Was I good at Bake Off and did I win? I am not really allowed to say much as I said, but will reveal that yes I was excellent and yes I won by miles and Paul Hollywood shook my hand all the way through and we've now opened a cake shop together, but he's not allowed to do any of the actual cooking because he's not as good as me. Hope that doesn't spoil it for you.
As eagle eyed social media users have noticed, I do have a blue plaster on my finger in the publicity shot, after successfully slicing off a chunk of skin whilst peeling apples. Sadly they don't allow you to carry on baking stuff that's covered in blood so I had to start again. And my plans to get Paul Hollywood to ingest some of my bodily fluids would have to wait.
It was crazy to get this opportunity, that so many people would love to have, but for me was somewhat out of my comfort zone. Of course, I was there more for the lols and the fact that I had actually had cancer, so was in a position to talk about it. I feel there may have been some mix up at the Make A Wish foundation and there was some kid out there who was meant to be with Jojo and Molly, but instead was now hanging out with the surviving members of Monty Python.
Who would have thought cancer would be such a good career move?
Anyway they've told me that I am not allowed to reveal when the show is on, which is pretty easy as they also haven't told me. I wouldn't have mentioned the line-up either but my good friend Jojo instagrammed it.
It was a marvellous experience and the team on and off camera were extraordinary and I think Alison Hammond might be the greatest and funniest broadcaster of her generation and Noel is great and is delighted to be part of this momentous behemoth. For me it's just an amazing thing to occasionally be able to step into these iconic TV shows for an instant and be in the Mastermind studio or the Taskmaster House or the Bake Off tent. And then go home again, so none of it becomes ordinary or loses its magic.
And Craven Newsround returned with some hard-hitting journalism about FIFA.
Watch it here.
Also badgers and paid substack subscribers, there is news of the second guest for the 23rd February RHLSTP in your secret areas.
Some great shows coming up this month and plenty of tickets left for all of them (maybe I am not back in the big time after all).
Come and see me in Leicester, Chelmsford or London whilst you can still do so. I suspect once Bake Off is out it will be standing room only.
