7331/19851
More family larks this morning as we had a ten pin bowling session at 9.30am (which was the latest I could book it yesterday). I started strongly in the first match and assumed I’d breeze to victory over my useless children and floundering wife, but I closed poorly and Catie got a strike on her 10th go and leap-frogged into the lead and I found myself in fourth place. Unbelievable.
I was absolutely trying my hardest and had been bested by two kids (with the bumpers up, the cheats) and a wife whose technique was brutal and weird, though inconsistently effective.
In match 2 there was a tussle between Phoebe and me and towards the end it looked like she might nick it. She desperately wanted to win and there had already been tears over her third placing in match one (only three points separated her from first). But I knew that she wouldn’t want me to roll over and let her win and I suddenly hit form on the 9th go and got a strike, then another strike and then with my bonus turn threw a gutter ball, followed by a spare and soared to the heady heights of the 125 point game. Phoebe had done her best ever, almost cracking 100, but was still inconsolable. But never mind that. I had won. By miles. I was the best after all.
We then played some video games, but bad luck seemed to be dogging Phoebe as her head set in the VR game she loves failed to work (though Ernie’s was fine) and the lady couldn’t give us a credit as the switch wasn’t working. But things finally turned around for Phoebe when she won 1000 tickets on a hammer game. It was too many tickets, but another kid showed us the machine where we could feed them into and get a receipt. The kids were able to get four or five crappy toys and a chew bar, which more than made up for the outlay on all these games.
I’ve always loved arcades though and my parents were always cautious about me playing in them, out of fears for my safety from the sort of people who go in arcades and that I might become addicted to gambling. I remained unkidnapped or killed but I do have a bit of a penchant for gambling, so their fears were half right. But however much I’ve lost in gambling over the years is more than made up for by the time I found a 1p slot machine which worked without you having to put in any money. I emptied the whole thing and walked out with about £2.50 in 1ps bulging in my shorts pocket.
Anyway, arcades are a bit more expensive now - it was an eye watering £6 for a two player game on the VR machine that didn’t work and the hammer game was a ridiculous £1 a hit (and you’d usually win about 5 or 10 tickets a turn). Ernie wanted a go on a Walking Dead game but struggled to work the controls so I had to keep saying “Shoot them in the head” in a rather urgent voice. He largely failed to do so. Is that good parenting? I mean he needs to know how to cope with zombies just in case that happens in real life.
What fun though. We should be going ten pin bowling and playing video games every day. I am in charge now and have a supply of money without having to beg off my parents. I can give my kids the childhood I dreamed of. And also have the childhood I dreamed of. Just forty or fifty years too late.
Enjoying the perineum of the year more than usual. Might not go back to work.
