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It seems that by about the 4th day of being away my brain has realised I don't need to be awake at 6.30 and I can sleep a bit longer. Or maybe I am just so tired that I manage to get back to sleep. Anyway I finally woke up after 8am - disastrously early for the pre-2015 Richard Herring, but a beautiful lie-in the Richard Herring I am unlucky enough to be now.
On to Monmouth. This week's gigs are all a reasonable distance from each other, so I haven't been spending my whole day in the car and I got to do a little sight-seeing. Which basically involved going to Monmouth castle, where Henry V was born.
It was no Mary-Rose. The hall and the tower are still there, but you can't go into the tower and for some reason you can't even look into it, as all the windows are blocked with cartoon figures of knights. The best thing you can say about it is that it is free.
I watched the first half of the football in my hotel room. Phoebe was watching at home and she rang me up so we could enjoy the action together. Her prediction was that England would score first, but Slovakia would win 2-1 (like father, like daughter) and she bet me 5p that England would lose.
I was confident that the nay-sayers were wrong, but as with pretty much every international tournament that I've watched I felt that the negativity of the fans and pundits was having an impact on the team. They are under such pressure to perform that they are stultified. England fans unrealistic expectations actually impact on the team. Maybe it's because I support York City, but I think football fandom is about getting behind your team, no matter what. England's fans are a twelfth man for the other team. At half time I tweeted that people shouldn't worry. Southgate was employing the Herring Manoeuvre and England would score in the 98th minute.
But even I had to concede that things were not working. And watched the second half convinced that it was going to be another embarrassing defeat. I had to go to the theatre for a sound check at 7pm, but left my room a little bit early, as there seemed little point in watching to the end as the result was inevitable. I was like one of those idiots who leaves a football ground with five minutes to go to show their disgust, only to miss the five goals in injury time.
I got to the theatre and assumed the game was now over and told a disinterested Bollings (he doesn't like football) that England were likely out. I checked my phone for the result and it said 1-1. I had called it. It was 95th minute, but close enough. How could I, of all people, have doubted the team?
Imagine having watched that terrible match but then having missed the wonder goal.
I also hadn't quite got my ipad set up by the time extra time began, so I only listened to the winning goal too. But the relief of breaking the deadlock had shed the team of their nerves and maybe now their campaign would catch fire.
Southgate was 90 seconds from going out and now he's just 3x90 minutes away from a knighthood. At least he will get to his 100th match now. But maybe we'll do better against Switzerland where we are surely the underdogs!
I still believe. And all the cunts calling for Southgate to be sacked will pretend they were behind the team all the way when they lift that trophy.
Nice to be back at the Monmouth Savoy. I took the piss out of the castle and said that as I was English I was going to be rubbish for 95 minutes and then brilliant for two. This all went well, but the laughs in the first couple of minutes were a little muted and I was then thrown by a huge blast of feedback. But before that the sound had been a bit echoey and off putting and I thought the foldback was on (which I don't like) and the tech had rebooted the desk, which sorted out the issues, even if it did make me forget what I was doing for a second! The gig warmed up fast and I slowed my pace a bit (this Sunday crowd just needed a second or so more to react) and took command and it was another triumph.
I can't believe that there are only 13 shows to go on the tour and only two more under a Tory government. Might be doing more in 2025, but you can only guarantee seeing this show
if you come to one of these.
