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I got a breadmaker for my birthday. I have tried it out a couple of times, but the results hadn't been great and the bread hadn't risen. I know everyone else has been making bread like crazy during lockdown but I guess I was distracted by the puppets or something and hadn't given it a proper go. It turns out I was using the wrong kind of yeast (who knew there were different types? I guess anyone who has had the infection).
Today I used the correct yeast and blamo! In four short hours (and at no human effort beyond weighing out some ingredients) we had a big puffed up loaf of hot white bread. It was magical. Even though it was just before teatime I had a slice with butter and Marmite and it was awesome. Crusty on the outside, soft in the middle. The whole family got on board and loved it so much that we ended up deciding must to have hot bread for our meal and worked our way through three quarters of the loaf. It was another lovely family memory to add to those little islands of simple joy that have punctuated the shitstorm of 2020. It doesn't beat listening to the soundtrack of Frozen 2 at breakfast times and the kids dancing and then everyone hugging each other when the lyrics say "holding on tight to you". But that memory doesn't fill any bellies.
And to be fair, when you've been in a shitstorm, however nice the bits are where the shit stops raining down for a second, it's hard to forget the being covered in shit and having shit flying in your eyes and mouth when you look back on it all.
But let's try and be positive about 2020 and eating hot bread that we've (sort of) made ourselves and dancing in the kitchen and getting to spend extra time with the family are (most of the time) lovely positives from this weird year.
I have been lucky and was never really in the thick of the shitstorm and I've managed to make a living selling comedy shit umbrellas to all the people who were already covered in shit, but who were happy to deflect a bit of the shit, so I have more positives than most people. But we've all had a chance to step back and think about what is important in the world and maybe now we're hopefully getting towards the last part of all this we can learn the lessons and live in happier times and.... oh fuck, Brexit. Who ordered the piss storm? Oh yes, it was us.
I don't know how many loaves of bread you have to make in a bread maker for it to become economical (as it was a gift I don't know how much it cost), but as we increasingly find ways to avoid having to go out, it's good to know that (as long as we have flour and the right kind of yeast) then we can knock up delicious bread in a few hours. Looks like I chose the wrong time to go on a diet.
We had a zoom quiz with people in the village and drank a bit too much booze (but I am stopping again tomorrow) and ate too much cheese and a few more chocolates (I am stopping again tomorrow), but I was awake to see in Brexit at 11pm and even managed to be awake at midnight when the New Year came in. Though I was idly having a go at my Christmas jigsaw as the clock struck midnight, which might be the saddest way I've greeted the New Year since watching myself on the Hootenanny whilst alone and desolate twenty or so years ago.
Happy New Year everyone. Though realistically it's not likely to be that good. At least expectations are realistic this time round.
There were some technical difficulties, so it’s a bit stop and start, but I did a live
stone clear today.
I couldn’t film me putting a stone in the ditch that stopped Brexit, but I did it, and presume it worked. Haven’t checked the news.
I got 4 out of 5 on the stone pole by the way.
