6884/19804
Not much better than the unbridled excitement of a 4 year old getting presents. We had a shrieking delighted little lad on our bed first thing this morning (when I'd really rather have been sleeping after a late night doing podcasts) and even I was caught up in the infectious glee. Later when he was waiting to open presents from his grandparents and uncle he was dancing around before he'd even opened the gifts. Would the world be better or worse if we never lost this enthusiasm? I mean it'd be a weird world and there would be lots of pools of urine everywhere (though to be fair to Ernie he kept control in that arena), but it'd be nice if we appreciated stuff this much, rather than become blasé and dulled to experience.
I realise on days like these how shot to pieces my memory has become over the last few years. I can't recall off the top of my head what we have done for any of Ernie's birthdays. Luckily I have Warming Up to remind me, but I can't even think of a single instant from his third birthday without checking.
I've just checked and I was working most of the actual day
and this was his party and it doesn't really stir any actual memories. Is this because of my aphantasia (was I once able to picture stuff in my head and have lost the ability without noticing?) or ageing or just having always needed at least three hours extra sleep for the last six and a half years? I am glad I have written so much down so that I have some hope of reminiscing, but it's still not the same as actual recall. Maybe I can't remember because I am just a mind tourist who has chosen to live the life of Richard Herring at Rekall like in Total Recall. But presuming you have the opportunity to choose any life both real and imagined, why would someone take a holiday in my life? Certainly in this part of it. They might think it'd be fun to live the life of the twenty-something me when I was on TV and presumably going to showbiz parties, taking drugs and having loads of sex (sadly they'd discover they were just staying in their flat, feeling sad and playing Civ II, but they might enjoy that). But why take this life?
Maybe Rekall is just like Blockbuster video and once all the good lives have been taken out you have to make do with one that you've never heard of, but has packaging making it resemble an amazing blockbuster.
Assuming I am me and I am living my own life for the first time, it's a bit worrying that my once very sharp memory (and I can still recall in detail much of the stuff that happened to me thirty and forty years ago and tell you, for example, with great accuracy who wrote which line in Fist of Fun - mainly because I wrote all of it) is so dulled and useless. I just get the surprise of looking at my kids and realising they are no longer babies, even though my last actual memory of them both is them being born. I even forget noticing that the previous day.
Anyway, I hope my son will remember this day - I cloudily remember birthdays - the earliest I recall was getting a Brian the Snail from the Magic Roundabout cake. It was so exciting. I was 28 years old.
I don't remember who came up with the idea of making that a regular punchline.
Monthly badgers - there's news of the other guest for the 18th October RHLSTP in your secret area at rhlstp.co.uk.
