What's going on?
I went to the Shepherd's Bush Post Office and rather than having to queue for 45 minutes watching those annoying Post Office ads on a loop on the TV, I was second in the queue and served within two minutes of arrival. Did I just get lucky or have the Post Office somehow become efficient or has everyone found a less tiresome alternative or MOST LIKELY have the dispossessed and crazy of Shepherd's Bush (who seem to spend most of their day here usually) been kidnapped and are being turned into pies by some unscrupulous businessman? It quite threw off my day. I had factored in 30 minutes for waiting and now I has 25 minutes to kill. I should sue the Post Office for this gross abnegation of responsibility.
And then when driving out of London to the Health Farm there were absolutely no delays. We weren't caught up in traffic or impeded in any way. And the A3 was clear and working properly as well - the roadworks finally over and a new tunnel avoiding all the fiddly and slow bits. Has the population of my city emigrated or did the riots take out more people than the government are admitting? Or is it the big people pie thing? It's that isn't it? I wondered why I found a finger nail in my Man Pie the other day.
Look if the result is no queues and clear roads I think cannibalism is a small price to pay. And you know you agree with me. There are too many people anyway. Too many delicious people.
So we arrived at the Health Farm unstressed and happy and ready for some more Thlassotherapy (Check out the link
here,
here and
here) Would Gary be there again? Would I make the same joke to my girlfriend about him wanking into the pool? Gary had failed to come up with any new warm up material in his introduction in the last five months (he didn't even do any topical stuff this time), so I didn't see why I should do any different. Gary recognised us this time. I hope he hasn't read my last blog. I am 90% certain he has never masturbated into the pool or killed a stranger. Well 85% certain. But it's the uncertainty that makes Thalassotherapy so exciting.
I went for a swim and then read some of "A Snow Ball in Hell" by Christopher Brookmyre (given to me by the man himself when I appeared on his radio show during the Fringe). I didn't tell him at the time but I had never read any of his books, but 30 pages in I am really enjoying this one. I am looking forward to a few days of lounging around and reading books and watching box sets and getting the occasion massage.
After dinner (which seemed rather large and filling - I think maybe this isn't a health farm at all) we watched the first three episodes of Deadwood. I haven't seen this HBO drama before and will try to avoid the inevitable jokes about Lovejoy, but it seems Lovejoy has gone insane and set up a replica cowboy town using genuine antiques and has become evil. Oh I failed to avoid the inevitable Lovejoy jokes. But I am on holiday. Cut me some slack.
I really like the series so far - it's gripping and tense and scary and Calamity Jane is nothing like she was in the last film I saw about her. And Lovejoy has gone mental.
Nothing better than a brand new box set and nothing to do but watch it.
Long time supporter and donator to SCOPE projects Leigh Caldwell has offered to give at least £1000 to SCOPE if his company wins an online vote. So if you would like to help out with that please vote for him
at http://www.smarta100/2011-winners/inon. Ta.
