7431/19951
I felt like Jesus must have felt waking up on Easter Sunday - pretty confused and groggy. And he hadn’t even had to take two under 9s on a 5 hour flight and then drive them home from the airport in the early hours of the morning. Plus, never forget, that chancer was only in his tomb for about 36 hours MAX. If anyone tells you it was three days tell them to go fuck themselves. Some people say that if he was parking his car then he’d have to pay for three days cos he was in for a bit of Friday and a bit of Sunday, but those people are idiots - it was a bank holiday. He could have stayed til end of play Monday and still only paid for Saturday,.
I can tell you something, when I am dead I am going to last a lot longer than a day and a half before I have to go for a fucking walk. Admittedly it won’t be on water, but then I am not a show off, like some people.
Happy Rebirth day my Lord.
The Easter Bunny had been overnight. Phoebe had left her a lovely hand-drawn card, which charmingly included a reminder that her brother is currently not eating any dairy, hopeful that there might be some vegan eggs for him. The two of them spend so much time in competition, winding each other up and pushing each other around, that it's quite disarming to see them caring about each other. Ernie adores his sister and all the bad stuff he does is really just trying to get her attention and Phoebe is rightfully annoyed by him. I empathise with the little one because that's what I was, so my heart hurts for him when, like last week in the pool, he is (rightfully) excluded. So what a lovely thing for his big sister to do for him.
The Easter bunny had written some cards back, though Ernie asked how she managed to write, given her paws (and I wondered how she managed to find the time on this busy day, but I guess she has a few minutes in each house whilst she's laying her brown eggs). But the chocolate managed to divert attention away from tricky questions for another year.
Perhaps foolishly we’d arranged to go out for Easter lunch - though luckily for us the earliest table we could get when I booked a fortnight ago was 2pm. Any earlier would have been a stretch.
We went to Hermitage Rd in Hitchin, which for some reason I’d never been to before. More fool me, it was excellent. We’ve had some right dodgy roast dinners in Hertfordshire, but this one was top notch and the staff were great. I also loved the building itself. I took Ernie to the loo after lunch and it was all old-timey with proper Thomas Crapper style toilets with a central handle flush! I presume they were facsimiles of the original, but they looked pretty legit and it was good to be pissing like an Edwardian. My only regret was I didn’t need a poo so couldn’t crap in a Crapper. But don’t you worry, I will make that dream come true one day.
Ernie asked me if I had used this kind of toilet when I was little. I don’t know how old he thinks I am. But he’s right. I am old.
