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Into London town again today to take part in a filmed pilot for a new quiz-style show. I assume I can't really talk about the show, but I really hope it goes ahead. It was loads of fun to do and smart and challenging and aimed at nerds and my team won. What more could you want?
Oh yes, for it to actually be on television.
But maybe I can make a living being in pilots and not have the inconvenience of people recognising me or getting offered cocaines at showbiz parties or having a superyacht.
Also I'd have to be in about 20 of them a week to make a living.
Apart from that it's a great plan.
I was booked from 1pm-5pm and with these things you can never be quite sure if they are going to feed you or not. All you can be certain of (and perhaps this can be Herring's Law) if you don't know if there's food or not; if you eat beforehand they will be providing lunch and if you don't they won't.
I had a sandwich at Pret on the way, only to discover we were recording in a room above a gastropub and there was an open tab behind the bar and an amazing menu. Herring's Law proven right again (though they did have an impressive spread afterwards too, so at least I got a free dinner).
One of the other panellists was Susan Calman who I hadn't seen for ages. We have always joked about leaving our partners and hooking up together, even though that would mean at least one of us changing our sexuality. It would be a disaster for everyone concerned. And a needless one. We're both very happy in our relationships and we would be fully unable to have sex with each other. It would be funny to ruin so many lives for an affair that would just leave both of us disappointed and in Susan's case, queasy.
Whilst the sexual chemistry may not be there, the comedic chemistry is strong between us and I really loved working with her again. We're similarly competitive, but also know that the laughs are the most important bit of a show like this, but we proved an effective team. Were I one of those pushy comedians who are good at networking and promoting themselves I would suggest that Susan and me should be the team captains on this show.
However I have spent my career believing that everything is fair and legit and that the people who are the best will be selected by an independent jury to get the jobs they deserve.
This is the wrong tactic, but I'd rather get hardly any work because someone had genuinely thought I was OK at what I do than loads of work by sucking up to executives (or learning their names) and being a pushy prick.
Or by sleeping my way to the top.
So far there's been very little interest in giving me work in return for sex. No one has even asked me. I've asked loads of execs if me having sex with them will help get a project green lit, but they have reacted as if that would actually make it less likely.
I think I once got asked out on a date by an older comedian from a previous generation, but I didn't really understand what was happening and was in any case, too shy to go. Maybe that would have been my ticket to the party. Or maybe they would just have used me and tossed me aside. I wouldn't have minded.
I only regret the people I didn't have sex with. And about 40% of the people I did have sex with.
I really am clueless about everything. It's remarkable that I have got any jobs or had any relationships. The tsunami that is life has occasionally deposited me where I need to go without much directional input from me. Maybe this is my charm.
Personally if someone is too pushy in trying to get on the podcast or whatever, I find that I am less likely to have them on. So maybe staying in your canoe and hoping random fate will buffet you and toss you ashore on a promising island is the best course of action.
Fingers crossed for the project regardless of whether this was my only contribution to it. It certainly deserves a series and in any just world would get one.
But the world isn't just or is it just me that it isn't just too? Or is it just and I am just not good enough?
