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Friday 9th July 2004

CNPS numbers spotted 1 (899).

Thank God(s) I am practically back to full fitness now. For a brief window of time I am going to appreciate what it is to have a body that functions and which doesn't cause me pain when I use it for its most simple functions. I will treat it as a temple and fuel it with only natural goodness (apart from the large bag of chocolate buttons I ate this afternoon to make up for the fact that my writing wasn't really working) and massage it with fine unguents and balms. My body will think that I have turned a corner and that finally I have realised that filling it with poison is not the best way to make it operate smoothly.
Then, all too quickly my mind will forget how much it hurt when my body had been maltreated and malnourished and go back to the old ways of filling it with booze, chocolate and crisps and my body will sigh and bolster itself and attempt to fight off the onslaught. Probably in another three or four months it will falter and fail and begin to send me pain to remind me that I am 37 (which I will be by then) and should be acting my age and not my shoe size (though I think only Drew Barrymore acted the way I am acting when she was 8 - also my European shoe size is 42, so presumbaly on the continent if people make that comment they are usually suggesting that someone is acting too maturally for their actual age).
But for the moment my health is a precious thing and for a day or so I am going to enjoy the fact that I am not in total agony when I am eating, nor so tired that I have to have an afternoon nap.
Thanks for bearing with me during this difficult time.
The moral of the story is that we learn nothing, until it's probably just too late and then we die.
Enjoy the rest of your doomed existence and the increasingly small islands of having a body that is not wracked with discomfort.

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