After all the bonus energy, today I was hit by the post RHLSTP slump of mental exhaustion and not enough sleep and I decided early on that there wasn't much point in attempting anything constructive. A dazed day of sloth punctuated by creeping fear that it's now mid-June and I haven't got beyond writing the first scene of Relativity (which I did in a burst of keenness back in April I think). But hopefully that queasiness will mean that tomorrow I can bash out something embarrassing and awful that I can work towards improving over the next few months. I still have several weeks, but am having a couple of weeks off in August and have to write a book before then. But it's a relatively easy book.
Regular readers of the blog will know that my life is just an endless cycle of lethargy followed by panicked writing to hit deadlines and losing and then gaining weight. I am the proof you need that people don't change.
The life of a writer is a tough and usually unheralded one. Perhaps it is job in my jack of all comedy trades that I am best at, but I resent it still. And the fact that (not so much for me, but for writers in general) it's the most important part of the process in creating anything (pretty much no one else can do their job without a script or a manuscript) but other people generally get the glory. I suppose particularly in script writing, it's the actors who get the limelight and the invites to the parties and the big bucks, whilst the writers sit at home churning out rewrites or feeling queasy about their lack of inspiration as well as secretly glad that they don't get to go to the parties as they'd just feel awkward and not talk to anyone and leave early, crying in the night. Yet still somehow resentful.
If the project is a success it's usually taken to be someone else's triumph but if it's bad it's the writer's fault.
I sometimes feel like staying at home all the time writing books might be a nice way to spend my remaining working years, but then I remember about the actual writing part. If I could do a bit every day for just a couple of hours then surely it would work out. But that's a skill that I have only managed to develop when it comes to writing this blog (in fact I partly started the blog as an attempt to warm me up for a day of writing, but it never worked).
I feel like I might have changed the story in terms of the cycle of losing and putting off weight (but then I always do), so can I change my mindset to become an efficient and less stressed writer? Can people change? Not according to the trolls in Frozen.
In spite of exhaustion and losing a cup of tea I'd made and thus having no hydration in a hot attic, I managed to complete the first matches in the ESLOSPS (European Super League of Self-Playing Snooker). About 700 people tuned in at some point during the proceedings (people told me I was crazy to go up against the football, but the stats prove what kind of a genius I am) which must surely make Durex question whether their multi-million pound sponsorship of the event was worth it. But I had a johnny on the whole time I played so even though self-playing snooker is the sexiest of sport there was only a 1% chance of anyone getting pregnant (no contraceptive method is 100% effective so for anyone having regular sex you can expect to have a baby about once a month (presuming you are having sex three times a day, which is the normal amount) though you could be having 100 babies a month if it wasn't for Ian Durex, so think on.
Let's see if tomorrow is a better day for writing. I am writing this tomorrow and I do feel a bit less crushed by life, but my wife has just suggested I could (by which she means have to) go to the fish van and the vegetable honesty shop to get some food for us and so all this brilliant warming up I've done in this blog are for nothing.