I risked taking Phoebe to football, despite still feeling snotty and my cough having returned. I am now at a level of illness where I can not dodge parenting, even if standing in a cold field for 90 minutes risked making me ill again. We both wrapped up in many layers, anticipating a freeze - Phoebe put on three pairs of gloves- but it wasn’t all that bad and Phoebe was a bit too hot if anything. It was a thrilling match which Phoebe’s team won 5-4, despite having been 2-1 down. It’s been interesting to watch the level of play improve. A few months ago winning a corner was basically an advantage for the defending team, as the ball would be limply kicked in and cleared and set up a counter attack, but now those balls are being whipped in and leading to goals and, in a couple of cases, own-goals. Are you allowed to cheer the own goals of the opposition when you’re watching 8 year olds play football? One of them was a pretty amazing shot.
The opposition hit the post in the dying seconds. It doesn’t matter who wins at this level, but it was great to win and maybe worth the danger of sliding back down the slope of lethargy and illness.
Shamefully none of the 8 year olds refused to play in solidarity with Gary Lineker.
I waited by the phone to see if my popular 8.03pm football scores slot on Me1 vs Me2 Snooker might have landed me the vacant chair at Match of the Day and had offered to save the BBC money by recreating all the action with Subbuteo figures, saving the organisation millions of pounds a year (I can even do the commentary, post-match interviews and more). But it’s like the BBC doesn’t want to save money. Some called me a scab for putting myself forwards, but you have to grasp your opportunities in this business (sport) and morality has no place in football. Which is what none of the footballers seem to understand. Apart from the sex criminals who are thus the only ones who have my respect. Sports people should stick to sport (and sexual assault) and leave politicians to the politics (and sexual assault).
We've given the cunts a good try at running the world. Shall we let some boring decent saps have a go for a while. Not putting myself forward. I'm one of the cunts.
I was one of the suggested answers on The Wheel tonight, apparently, for the podcaster who had interviewed Prince William. It wasn’t me as it turned out. I am more interested in getting Prince Andrew on. Again, no morals, but sex pest. The contestant said he’d never even heard of me, which would have hurt but he’d never heard of James Acaster and Ed Gamble either, which sugared the pill.