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Monday 16th May 2005

I was hoping I might escape Weston-Super-Mare today as we only had four or five more scenes to film and two of them only had me in them, which meant it should (in theory) have been quicker to film. With just me and Emma left from the actors, everything seemed quieter and there was certainly a lot less farting (though Emma had spent about half an hour yesterday trying to fart through through the open window of the VW Polo that the rest of the cast were sitting in, forcing me to roll up the window whenever she approached - this is what acting is like. Hardest job in the world).
Though we had another day of filming pencilled in, we were all keen to get it over with today (and in fact Steve the cameraman couldn't make it in tomorrow, so if we didn't complete we'd just have to get someone to draw the rest of it).
Unsurprisingly Emma and me were more than capable of playing a couple who resented and hated one another and weirdly we were able to push things quite far and not corpse and ruin the shot (which happened quite a bit when the whole cast was there). We really should be cast together in a sit-com one of these days, but I suspect one of us will have to write it for that to happen.
Her bits were finished by about 4pm and she roared off in David Collins (her car for those of you wise enough not to read her blog) and left me to do the last few scenes on my own.
One scene involved me trying to write on a wall with marmite and raspberry jam, which was a somewhat surreal experience. I was standing in a kitchen in my pyjamas at 8.30pm on a Monday with my hands coated in condiments and forced to consider that this is how I make my living. I am 37 years old.
We finished late and I was tired so I was forced to stay at the Timbertop Aparthotel for one more night. This was a pleasure (the house next door has some Spanish nurses living in it, so if there is an apartheid style policy it is against the Spanish - or possibly involves having the attractive and the unattractive segregated), though I would be pleased to leave behind WSM, which seems small and strange after all this time. Luckily I have had no time to go out and sample the night-life.
So filming is over. I look forward to seeing what it looks like when it's all cut together. I will let you know if there is any kind of screening at any point.

“I have been asked by Timbertop Aparthotel to make it clear that the name of their business has nothing to do with segregation at all- it is just the word apartment and hotel joined together. I realise that this is probably apparent to most of you and that my comments are intended as a stupid joke, but Timbertop get a lot of international clientele who might not appreciate my pathetic humour, so I want to make it clear that the Timbertop Aparthotel does not segregate people by race or attractiveness. It is a charming hotel with a friendly staff and it does a great breakfast. If you are every unlucky enough to be forced to spend any time in Weston-Super-Mare then I would heartily recommend this hotel. Staying there is in my opinion the most pleasurable thing you can do in this unusual seaside town.”

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